Border Dashing

Chris Farmer RSS / 15.01.2008. u 10:57

My babysitter has her bags packed.

One fine day, a couple of weeks ago, I heard the announcement that if the Radicals should win the upcoming presidential elections – i.e., Smiling Tommy Nik – that she was ready to pack up and leave the country.

Hm, I told her.

And I really did mean it. I thought, hm, where is she going to go? I thought, hm, if the protection of my son, who is alternatively Zorro, Spiderman, and Pachycephalosaurus, depending on his mood, was not enough for her, what else would be? And – I continued in my hmming – where did she think the next best refuge for her would be? Moreover, I hmmed, and I placed particularly poignant emphasis on the phoneme, why?

As an extraneous foreign unit, I know that my musings on the elections – and I have had the chance to muse about a great many of them in the five years that I have been here – are not extremely valuable. Moreover, I know that many of you who are reading my musings are probably not voters either. However, as I (we) will be subject to the whims of whatever regime is tipped for the Big Chair, as much as any voter, I am a concerned constituent.  

AND because the outcome of the elections will directly determine whether I need to find a new babysitter or not, I am sure that I have at least one dog in this fight.

The first task that I needed to address was to determine what she would do if SOMEONE ELSE were elected. As far as I am concerned, you need a contingency plan for all potential outcomes. For example, if Minister Cacak is elected, does she plan to leave Belgrade for the new Central Serbian capital? If she stays, does she plan for a new attitude toward infrastructure projects? If Boris stays, is it status quo? And what about Ceda or Milanka or Milutin Mrkonjic? The point is why do the Radicals get their own plan?

Problematically, it seems to me that every result of this race should force us to consider taking flight. The candidate could be an ultra-nationalist, an alleged criminal, a potato, a drug addict, a moll, or a Pachycephalosaurus (hypothetically speaking, of course), but it is clear now – as opposed to earlier presidential elections I have seen – that SOMEONE will be elected. When Someone is anointed with the ceremonial oils, Someone will have a policy agenda, and Someone will want to get a few things done right away – even if the first agenda item is to go on holiday.

Therefore I ask you, o guardian of my child, wherefore the almighty rush to the border for one man alone?

The other question I had hmmed about was the Why. I am struggling to comprehend the possible downside to babysitting under a Radical presidency. It is a puzzler to me. Maybe she has some SECRET INFORMATION about babysitting plans direct from undercover sources in Zemun. Does she think that Nik will be against the fair treatment of babysitters? Do the Radicals plan to institute a National Babysitting Plan? Will the continued existence of babysitters, under the NBP, be contingent on Euro-Atlantic integration? On Russian investment? On the status of Kosovo?

Clearly, my babysitter knows more than she is letting on.

From my point of view, it is hard to distinguish the possible changes which a new (or renewed) president will want to enforce regarding babysitting. The president’s purview does not cover babysitting now, as far as I know. Any of the possible (hypothetical) candidates would have to push it through the cabinet and through the parliament. This is roughly comparable to pushing a large metallic object through a slab of granite by applied pressure from three finger-tips.

We are still a few weeks away from any possible exodus, but I will be monitoring the relative distance of my babysitter’s bags to the door. Extraneous foreign unit that I am, I will not have much to say about babysitting policies. If she must really abscond to parts unknown and unradical, I will not stand in her flight path. I will, however, suggest she adopt a wait-and-see attitude.

After all, as long as she stays, she still has Spiderman on her side.

Atačmenti



Komentari (27)

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Aleksandar Stosic Aleksandar Stosic 11:11 15.01.2008

She is not alone

Your babysitter is not alone.
Many youngsters or middle age Serbs told me the same sentences, nobody wants another war, another cirssis, another inflation, another regional instabilty....
Me personaly, have same feelings every times in pre-elections period.
recommendation
DaToSamJa DaToSamJa 11:50 15.01.2008

Re: She is not alone

Aleksandar Stosic
...nobody wants another war, another cirssis, another inflation, another regional instabilty....


some people do want that, radicals!

and that is the answer for all your questions
nestorijanac nestorijanac 14:26 15.01.2008

Re: She is not alone

I will, however, suggest she adopt a wait-and-see attitude.

Smart advice !
Of course, from your point of view !
MilutinM MilutinM 11:25 15.01.2008

The fun starts...

...on 4th February. There is a lot of chances that we shall have an interesting period.

But... shouldn't it be boring if everything is nice and smooth.
Aleksandar Stosic Aleksandar Stosic 12:04 15.01.2008

Re: The fun starts...

Lucky you, you are in Suisse, right? :))))
MilutinM MilutinM 12:35 15.01.2008

Re: The fun starts...

More - less. I live betweeen Switzerland, Serbia and the rest of Europe. But all my family, relatives and friends are still here, and I hope will be.

BTW, I have a good friend who was one of the strong opposition fighters in Serbia in the end of eightees and first years of ninetees. He left in 1992, lives abroad since then, has a good private job and family, and comes back to Serbia regularly. He is aware that he had to leave (because it should be killing for him should he have stayed), but he knows that it was so "dynamic" (= active, fighting, unexpected, every-day-changing...) and he is sorry he missed "those years".
Aleksandar Stosic Aleksandar Stosic 13:09 15.01.2008

Re: The fun starts...

He is aware that he had to leave (because it should be killing for him should he have stayed), but he knows that it was so "dynamic" (= active, fighting, unexpected, every-day-changing...) and he is sorry he missed "those years".

I will never forget Fifth of the October. In that time I was in Warsaw, me girlfriend (today wife) and I left Belgrade several months earlier. .... I use to participate on (literally) every opposition rally during Nineties and I felt very sick that very day for Serbian history, because I missed it!
MilutinM MilutinM 13:15 15.01.2008

Re: The fun starts...

Exactly - that is the feeling!

I was also away, on a day trip to Montenegro. It was strange to see on TV things happening in your own city.
Aleksandar Stosic Aleksandar Stosic 13:32 15.01.2008

Re: The fun starts...

I will do a small confession: I cried! Happiness, sadness, desire to be there, fact that Sloba is gone... Tear dropes were falling on my hand....
Jelena Pavlović Jelena Pavlović 12:10 15.01.2008

Dilemma

This dilemma you have would have never continued had you brought your mother to watch your child since this is the policy we follow in Serbia, the grannies are babysitters.

As far as Mrkonjic for a science fiction candidate, how about the support he has from the Lady in exile who is, by the way, wanted by Interpol?
Lighthouse Lighthouse 12:27 15.01.2008

1992

Chris,

Your babysitter probably remembers 1992, and that famous exodus of foreign diplomats in a convoy. I also remember. Though not a babysitter, I earned my living owing to foreigners in Belgrade at that time. When they left, I had to close my small business.

So, that is what your babysitter "knows". So, in case Nick The Undertaker wins, pack up yourself. Prepare to go home, because your babysitter will already be there.
silver bullet silver bullet 13:52 15.01.2008

no such fight

b]AND because the outcome of the elections will directly determine whether I need to find a new babysitter or not, I am sure that I have at least one dog in this fight. [/b]

To my way of thinking, and according to your scenario - you are the dog in this fight.
Sorry to disappoint both you & your babysitter, but there is no such fight.


kuki kuki 16:20 15.01.2008

Five years

and still wandering about Serbian reasoning? You've got the point right; why the One doesn't look after his/her business and wellbeing, and assess political inputs through that filter?

I would like to offer three answers:
1. This is Serbia, bre!
2. Your babysitter has a politics embedded in her DNA, by birth or, during her child development, by intoxication. And she is ready to be the next Minister of Social Affairs or a head of any other Ministry (as any average Serbian can).
3. She got burned. Badly! She still has nightmares of past time. She learned a lesson and doesn't want to repeat it.

So, start looking for a new babysitter.
DaToSamJa DaToSamJa 20:13 15.01.2008

Re: Five years

(as any average Serbian can)


if velja can, everybody can!

She still has nightmares of past time.


like all others members of the club
man ray loves me man ray loves me 19:36 15.01.2008

Bolderdash

You're downplaying serious *** that we went through in the nineties when Tommy Niks loudmouth father was in the government.
Jelena Pavlović Jelena Pavlović 20:28 15.01.2008

Re: Bolderdash

Here we are, practicing our English, lamenting on the current political situation and our Serbian demise without our host who is nowhere to be found:)
Chris Farmer Chris Farmer 09:20 16.01.2008

Re: Bolderdash

Jelena Pavlović
Here we are, practicing our English, lamenting on the current political situation and our Serbian demise without our host who is nowhere to be found:)


The host is here. He listens and reads. He learns.

CBF
snezana mihajlovic snezana mihajlovic 07:14 16.01.2008

...

the whole text has nothing to do with the elections. (am I right, or am I right?!) : )
"...Someone will want to get a few things done right away – even if the first agenda item is to go on holiday." (a natural order of things, perhaps. )
the focal point is the babysitter with her flight plan (what if I removed the "L"?!) - just one?
is it an instant f(l)ight plan? (a single, or a return ticket?)
is there a back-up version for other version-outcomes? (judging by the size of the letters, shaping the"secret info", there should be, at least I think there should be a/the "b,c,d,e,d,c,b plan(s)", with or without an "L"

I like your texts
and your veiled humour..."If she must really abscond to parts unknown and unradical, I will not ..."
Chris Farmer Chris Farmer 09:28 16.01.2008

Re: ...

Thanks...

I fear the veil is fairly thin in places!

CBF
snezana mihajlovic
I like your texts and your veiled humour..."If she must really abscond to parts unknown and unradical, I will not ..."

snezana mihajlovic snezana mihajlovic 15:24 16.01.2008

Re: ...

I fear the veil is fairly thin in places!

here you go again, alliteration added.
that's exactly what I was talking about

p.s.
what's this "B" between your initials?
Chris Farmer Chris Farmer 17:37 16.01.2008

Re: ...

The "B" is mostly for Bombast and Blathering.

But you could also look here: http://blog.b92.net/user/1004/Chris%20Farmer/
snezana mihajlovic snezana mihajlovic 18:58 16.01.2008

ok Bradley

or, should I say, bombast and blathering Bradley. : )

I' ve missed it.
guilty as charged.
watch those bags, though.
toshke toshke 15:54 16.01.2008

Good text

I like this a lot. You just showed us what should be our priorities and that our leaders won't influence much. I am not for radicals, but they won't be able to steer the wheel. Somebody else is doing it, and we are just passengers who cannot see their driver. What we could do is only to work for our seats and make us comfortable during our journey. The bus would look more pretty and our travel would be joyous.

The problem in Serbia is that we wait all the time, and we are so dependent on the leaders. We expect them to be magicians. Nothing is possible if we don't change our habits and focus more on what we are doing.

Cheers!
man ray loves me man ray loves me 18:53 16.01.2008

Re: Good text

I disagree. Somebody else is steering the wheel if they can buy off the election (the Miskovic money and all the other money behind DS right now), but if Toma actually wins the election despite all the investment to the contrary, he'll take the wheel. What will there be left to stop him?
Rasina Rasina 07:39 21.01.2008

Chris,

You should probably give her a raise - not an advice. Maybe a raise and an advice. Or maybe just a raise.

BTW - did you tell your baby sitter that you're planning to share her thoughts with the general public? Well... you should probably hurry up with that raise, she's a smart girl and emotional too.

On the up side, as a good father, you're ensuring continuity and stability.

Cheers

Chris Farmer Chris Farmer 17:06 21.01.2008

Re: Chris,

Dear Rasina,

I take my babysitter’s feelings into account. I understand that her declaration was not without substance. Moreover, I shall safeguard her identity forever.

And now, on the morning after of the first round of elections, elections that seem to up the real possibility of Nik’s ultimate victory in two weeks, I am more concerned than ever about my upcoming babysitting needs.

About the raise (even though it is a topic of discussion under a separate subhead), I am not sure that offering her additional money would alter her feelings about the Border Dash heretofore contemplated and duly hmmed by me.

Does this imply that if living standards were improved, political considerations would be diminished? This seems plausible. However, political considerations are also key in obtaining such SOL improvements. Also plausible?

This is the fish that bites its own tail. And, like most fish, after all this time, it is beginning to smell.

Ultimately, I believe (as other commentators have commentated) that my “babysitter” carries memories of times past and her strong feelings about Nik and Co. stem from this. I am not a great defender or propagator of ideology-based decision making, but its influence must also be acknowledged.

CBF
Rasina Rasina 02:23 22.01.2008

Re: Chris,

You lost me with that "fish" analogy.
Anyways I'm serious about the "raise" point - it's just good business and makes sense either way you slice it.

Best Regards,

Arhiva

   

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