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The End (Again)

Chris Farmer RSS / 01.12.2012. u 17:34

The world as we know it ended seven months ago.

The world's legion paranoid masses announced the end of the world for May 21. I am not sure anymore why the world had to come to an end seven months ago, but it seems this month we will get another shot at putting our cosmic lives in order and getting ready for the New End of the World on December 21.

When the world ended seven months ago, none of us really noticed any changes. The next morning the sun seemed to shine, the birds seemed to sing. But since we had not yet reached the end of the 13th b'ak'tun of the Mayan calendar (which, as EVERYONE knows, is a really big deal), then the New and Real End of the World couldn't happen quite yet.

According to the sales, marketing, and advertising people with whom I have been conferring about 2012 phenomena in general, the December 21st deadline is likely to be postponed in order to stop consumers from boycotting their Christmas shopping.

Sales of the new 14th b'ak'tun calendar are available at www.the-world-is-not-really-going-to-end-just-yet.com. It looks a little like an Oreo cookie.

As it turns out, I already said my goodbyes to Planet Earth seven months ago. Since I am loath to repeat myself, I refer you to the previous Last Day of our mortal existence, in case you missed it in your bunkers and shelters.

As of this moment, we still have 20 days and a few hours before the Mayan calendar self-destructs and the world vanishes. But the clock is ticking. Before we all exit stage left, there are still a few things I would like to do, people I would like to see, and senseless memes I would like to share on Facebook. Knowing myself, I will waste at least three of my remaining days in composing a list of these things, another two prioritizing, and then the mad rush to get it all in before the appointed day.

I am keeping my calendar clear for the days following the end of the world. I think I will also engage a lawyer to work on the reckoning of my life on earth, just in case. The Post-Apocalyptic hourly rates will certainly go up prohibitively.

So this is goodbye - again. I am supposing that my current broadband account will no longer be valid in Oblivion, so my blog posts will almost certainly be less frequent.

That is, of course, unless the Mayans got it wrong.

 

 

 

Atačmenti



Komentari (18)

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looping looping 18:42 01.12.2012

1



jinks jinks 18:51 01.12.2012

...

Maybe the only special thing that will happen on December 21st is that somewhere in Australia, for example, a butterfly will at the particular moment flap its wings at the particular place :)
blue92 blue92 20:57 01.12.2012

vel'koM






Kazezoze Kazezoze 22:19 02.12.2012

Re: vel'koM

Planetary alignment that will take place Dec 3, 2012 is dead-on alignment with the Pyramids at Giza.

Night Sky in Giza, Egypt on December 3, 2012, local time … one hour before sunrise compared with the Pyramids at Giza.

Planets inline: Mercury, Venus, Saturn

Bojan Budimac Bojan Budimac 22:29 02.12.2012

Re: vel'koM

"Well, I hate to be a thricely-bursting-bubble person, but here we go again, again. Let me be clear: while there will be an event more-or-less like this in December, and it should be pretty and quite cool to see, the claims being made are somewhat exaggerated. The picture itself isn’t real, and the planets won’t really look like that from Giza. Also, alignments like this happen fairly often, though to be fair getting them spaced out to fit over the pyramids in this way probably is relatively rare."

LINK
Kazezoze Kazezoze 22:40 02.12.2012

Re: vel'koM

treba pitati ovu našu blogerku aleksandru (ako nije pod vodom), ona jedina ima priliku da nam posvedoči istinitost ovog događaja.
rade.radumilo rade.radumilo 21:29 01.12.2012

New construction project

I believe that on December 21st, the construction of new hyperspace route officialy starts, and that the Vogon demolition fleet is on it's way. The Mayans were the ones that were handed the eviction notice.
srdjan.pajic srdjan.pajic 21:31 01.12.2012

Zapotec

I've already shared this with people on the blog, but nevertheless, it is useful to keep reminding them and avoid panic, similar to one experienced during total eclipse of the Sun.

I was assured, by this Zapotec shaman, visionary, medicine man and tourist guide, that yours (and mine) investments are secure, and that Mayans were full of shit. There won't be any darn unregulated apocalipses, or shenanigans like that. See for yourself, it is all well explained in the dirt, with a stick:



EDIT: Osim toga, dan posle apokalipse je moj rodjendan, za koji mi je obećan Kindle Paperwhite, i sa time nema zajebancije!
Kazezoze Kazezoze 22:07 01.12.2012

Re: Zapotec

EDIT: Osim toga, dan posle apokalipse je moj rodjendan, za koji mi je obećan Kindle Paperwhite, i sa time nema zajebancije!

au, srle, jebote, umrećeš dan pre nego što si se rodio!
koji apokaliptičan scenario!
Bojan Budimac Bojan Budimac 22:24 01.12.2012

The end of the world?

blue92 blue92 22:37 01.12.2012

Re: let's party!

arianna arianna 23:07 01.12.2012

Re: let's party!

Ahead of the upcoming Mayan apocalypse, firms have started selling post-apocalyptic survival kits, coupons for indulgence and even tickets to Heaven and Hell.
Stores in many Russian cities have started selling survival kits, which include candles, matches, soap, cereals, and other necessities, Vesti reports.
Other sellers offer coupons for indulgence. There are no guarantees given that one would not be punished for his sins.

One Ukrainian tourist agency has started selling one-way tickets to Heaven and Hell for December 21, 2012. Tickets to the Devil’s headquarters cost more than the ones to Heaven. The agency explained that the company is better in Hell. This, as they say, is an offer for those who “like it hot” and “can not stand low temperatures and love hot countries.”
An all-inclusive ticket to Heaven costs $15 while the same package to Hell costs $18.
People tempted by eternal harmony and serenity will be given a special certificate confirming the “reservation” of a spot and a first class ticket to Heaven
Both Heaven and Hell newcomers will also receive maps of the area. But remember: there’s no way back.

According to the new agers' beliefs the end of the world will come this year on December 21.




let's party
marta l marta l 16:33 02.12.2012

ko zna zasto je to dobro

no worries, Serbia is 30 years behind
edi-va edi-va 09:58 03.12.2012

Evidence?

satinelle satinelle 01:04 04.12.2012

Re: Evidence?

edi-va
Gangam shit?


edi-va edi-va 11:11 04.12.2012

Re: Evidence?

I am relieved, after all, it`s the responsibility of the U.S. government
Kazezoze Kazezoze 19:59 04.12.2012

Re: Evidence?

edi-va
I am relieved, after all, it`s the responsibility of the U.S. government

e sad mi je lakše kad je demant stigao sa vrha.
edi-va edi-va 08:34 05.12.2012

Re: Evidence?

Kazezoze
edi-va
I am relieved, after all, it`s the responsibility of the U.S. government

e sad mi je lakše kad je demant stigao sa vrha.






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