Foreign Minister

/ 04.09.2013. u 14:21

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There is probably something wrong with my phone.

As soon as the announcement came last month that foreigners were wanted in the new flip-flopped Serbian government, I was on alert. Surely the call would come from Aleksandar Vučić asking me to take over a few portfolios. Not too many, enough to keep me occupied a couple days a week.

But the call never came. I should get my phone serviced.

You can understand my surprise. After all, I have always demonstrated the GREATEST respect for the leaders who have navigated the transition with the grim determination of a lemon peel floating down the Danube. The archives of this blog demonstrate my UNWAVERING support and encouragement to boneheaded decisions, wild ideas and public statements, and the generally farcical behavior which constitutes the backbone (or lack thereof) of a career in the Serbian government.

After all, without it, I would have nothing to write about.

In retrospect, I suppose my chances were hampered by a few different factors. The finance post was closed to me because I have already passed through puberty. The position of high advisor was also nixed since I have never been accused of or brought up on charges for prostitution or pimping (although I do speak French).

Culture would have been a nice portfolio, I suppose, but I do not have enough hair.

The idea of opening the ministerial field to foreigners was an interesting play, however. A lot of us foreigners who have been in Belgrade for much longer than would seem immediately necessary were given pause to speculate and wonder. We, the foreign residents of Belgrade, constitute a disenfranchised group - we cannot vote, we cannot get one of the cheap phones that VIP offers, and we are continually overcharged for everything from taxis to potatoes. We could even become a political party or qualify for European inclusion projects.

Having a foreigner in charge would also have been a great fall-back position for Mr. Vucic - we make the unpopular moves, and he could shrug his shoulders and say, "You know, he's a foreigner, he's not from here, he doesn't get it." The other advantage of having a non-native minister is that official translators could become the new policy shapers and king-makers.

In the end, none of the nine new guys are even remotely foreign. The invitation to join the government turned out to be an empty promise. We got all geared up, shuffling our schedules to make room for the occasional cabinet meeting, composed wish-lists of laws to change, picked out countries against whom to wage war, and bought a new suit or two - and then nothing.

It is like being uninvited to a birthday party. What do you do with the gifts you intended to bring?

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maksa83 15:05 04.09.2013

iPlay

Not too many, enough to keep me occupied a couple days a week.

Don't do it man. Better run for the Senate. There you get to play poker on your phone while making plans to bomb far away places. Tons of fun and you get paid for it too.

McCain caught playing poker on his iPhone during the Senate hearing on military action in Syria.

iqiqiq 17:02 04.09.2013

Re: iPlay

The guy is just multi-functional and skilled person. Anyway all politicians are set up on the simple instruction manual "where and when I have to press the button"

G.Cross 19:58 04.09.2013

Re: iPlay

McCain caught playing poker on his iPhone during the Senate hearing on military action in Syria.

I've heard he (McCain) lost 1.000 play$ in this game.
Assad must pay for that , 60 days of bombing is by far too few to punish him for this.

iqiqiq 16:41 04.09.2013

Pitty

The other advantage of having a non-native minister is that official translators could become the new policy shapers and king-makers.

I saw great potential in that and had high hopes of getting in that position. It is not too late, please send the letter and propose to Mr. Vucic yourself as a new Minister of Education. And please put me in the "package" so we can finally implement all ideas we are collecting here with other blogers.

noboole 17:41 04.09.2013

Initation to interwiev

I scout talent for Vucic. I be spek Englis not fluent , but for stars. Yu in 3. round of elimination for ekstra minister. Sent me a PM.

Yours Fiatfully

Grejvdiger junior assistent

srdjan.pajic 18:34 04.09.2013

Chris

I would support your candidacy, for the sense of humor, at least. Not that you would really need any other skill.

On McCain: no biggie, there is new generation of autonomous drones coming out, that will be able to make intelligent decisions on who to spy, or fry, when and why. So that decent people in Congress can dedicate their time to hobbies.

maksa83 19:14 04.09.2013

Re: Chris

On McCain: no biggie, there is new generation of autonomous drones coming out, that will be able to make intelligent decisions on who to spy, or fry, when and why.

Well it's a no-brainer, since it implies pretty much everyone.

iqiqiq 20:28 04.09.2013

Re: Chris

I would support your candidacy, for the sense of humor, at least.

Good sense of humor should be priority in shortlisting candidates. After that, of course, haircut, we all know what is required and which style is the latest fashion.
That would be it, I can not remember any other requirement...

srdjan.pajic 06:11 05.09.2013

Re: Chris

maksa83

link

maksa83 07:01 05.09.2013

Re: Chris

srdjan.pajic
maksa83

link

srdjan.pajic 07:04 05.09.2013

Re: Chris

maksa83
srdjan.pajic
maksa83

link

link

hajkula1 08:51 05.09.2013

Re: Chris

srdjan.pajic
maksa83

link

What does this mean?

Why?

hajkula1 08:52 05.09.2013

Re: Chris

maksa83
srdjan.pajic
maksa83

link

Why?

zilikaka 16:14 05.09.2013

Re: Chris

hajkula1

srdjan.pajic

maksa83linkWhat does this mean?Why?

Are you sure he knows how to spell Syria?

maksa83 16:23 05.09.2013

Re: Chris

zilikaka
hajkula1

srdjan.pajic

maksa83linkWhat does this mean?Why?

Are you sure he knows how to spell Syria?

Let us all pray for Scwarzenegger's native Styria.

srdjan.pajic 16:51 05.09.2013

Re: Chris

zilikaka
hajkula1

srdjan.pajic

maksa83linkWhat does this mean?Why?

Are you sure he knows how to spell Syria?

. It is not only spelling, it is often mistaken for Syria (or Siberia) in everyday conversation. I did quite a bit of explanation over the course of years, before I gave up. It ain't that different, anyway.

iqiqiq 16:58 05.09.2013

Re: Chris

it is often mistaken for Syria (or Siberia) in everyday conversation.

If it is so, my warm suggestion is to nominate Chris for Foreign PR Minister so he might at least send the map clearly showing Serbia, Siberia and Syria on the World map, just to be sure no mistake happens.

blogovatelj 17:00 05.09.2013

Re: Chris

link

Link

Srđan Fuchs 17:53 05.09.2013

Re: Chris

srdjan.pajic

it is often mistaken for Syria (or Siberia) in everyday conversation. I did quite a bit of explanation over the course of years, before I gave up. It ain't that different, anyway.

i sa mnom i prosečnim penzosima američkim,

hi, where are u from?
serbia.
ooh, siberia, it's sucha beatitutiful country.

nadam se samo da neko od popkornista i pokeraša s brodova ne pogreši s unošenjem destinacije za tomahavke i da lepo speluju slovo po slovo...

inače, srbi da su pametni, trebali bi da unajme od Don Mila glisere i da idu na krstarice i valjaju sveže kokice. pare bi napravili, a po američkom standardu 5,6 dolara za veliku kesu, dok nas košta 10 centi, ekstra profit. preporučujem kompaniju Florida Bel, ako Krkar ili neko može da posreduje kod Crnogoraca za glisere.

srdjan.pajic 18:39 05.09.2013

Re: Chris

Srđan Fuchs
srdjan.pajic

it is often mistaken for Syria (or Siberia) in everyday conversation. I did quite a bit of explanation over the course of years, before I gave up. It ain't that different, anyway.

i sa mnom i prosečnim penzosima američkim,

hi, where are u from?
serbia.
ooh, siberia, it's sucha beatitutiful country.

nadam se samo da neko od popkornista i pokeraša s brodova ne pogreši s unošenjem destinacije za tomahavke i da lepo speluju slovo po slovo...

inače, srbi da su pametni, trebali bi da unajme od Don Mila glisere i da idu na krstarice i valjaju sveže kokice. pare bi napravili, a po američkom standardu 5,6 dolara za veliku kesu, dok nas košta 10 centi, ekstra profit. preporučujem kompaniju Florida Bel, ako Krkar ili neko može da posreduje kod Crnogoraca za glisere.

English, please

hajkula1 19:00 05.09.2013

Re: Chris

zilikaka
hajkula1

srdjan.pajic

maksa83linkWhat does this mean?Why?

Are you sure he knows how to spell Syria?

iqiqiq 19:00 05.09.2013

Re: Chris

English, please

It is not requested by the host, after all there is google translate

here it is, solely translated by google translate

"Come with me and penzosima average American,

hi, where are u from?
Serbia.
ooh, Siberia, it's sucha beatitutiful country.

I only hope that some of popkornista and poker players from ships not mis entering a destination for Tomahawk and nice spell letter by letter ...

otherwise, the Serbs are smart, you would have to hire from Don Mila speedboats and taking the cruiser and roll fresh popcorn. money to make, and the American standard of $ 5.6 for a large bag, and it costs us 10 cents extra profit. I recommend this company Florida Bel if Krkar or someone may mediate the Montenegrins for powerboats."

iqiqiq 19:41 05.09.2013

Re: Chris

nadam se samo da neko od popkornista i pokeraša s brodova ne pogreši s unošenjem destinacije za tomahavke i da lepo speluju slovo po slovo.

Šta li su kucali na tastaturi kada su roknuli Australijska koralna ostrva Australijska koralna ostrva

srdjan.pajic 20:35 05.09.2013

Re: Chris

iqiqiq
nadam se samo da neko od popkornista i pokeraša s brodova ne pogreši s unošenjem destinacije za tomahavke i da lepo speluju slovo po slovo.

Šta li su kucali na tastaturi kada su roknuli Australijska koralna ostrva Australijska koralna ostrva

Btw, and without loss of generality, "Australijska koralna ostrva", don't exist. "Veliki koralni greben" is the name you are probably looking for. But these are just details and technicalities, no sweating.

iqiqiq 09:57 06.09.2013

Re: Chris

Btw, and without loss of generality, "Australijska koralna ostrva", don't exist.

yeah, yeah, thanks, I knew the name was something similar...
Main point is
"The Navy said that the pilots were low on fuel and could not land with their bomb load, so they jettisoned them into the reef."

and that is quite worrying, I hope that they will have enough fuel while flying over Serbia, in fairness we had it enough in the past, you know what I mean..

But it is not fair to fully miss the message from the text: "We, the foreign residents of Belgrade, constitute a disenfranchised group - we cannot vote, we cannot get one of the cheap phones that VIP offers, and we are continually overcharged for everything from taxis to potatoes. We could even become a political party or qualify for European inclusion projects."

Something is meant to be said in those sentences, or?

Srđan Fuchs 10:20 06.09.2013

Re: Chris

iqiqiq

Šta li su kucali na tastaturi kada su roknuli Australijska koralna ostrva Australijska koralna ostrva

hmm, initials form the word AKO, which is similar to the name Akko, second town in Israel from the Lebanon border. it's an old Crusader and Ottoman capital, Akko/Acre, famous as the last Crusader stronghold prior to the Mamelukes' advance (XIII c), and as the town where Ahmed Al Jazaar (Ahmed the Butcher, convertee of the Herzegovinian Christian origin to Islam) stopped Napoleonian Mideast advance (late XVIII/early XIX c). The Popkornistas may have mistakenly taken the satellite footages of Akko's bearded men for the nearby Syria's militants, then mistaking the Far East coordinates for Near East ones, and droppin bombs on Ozzies yachting there?