Dear Mr. Griffiths - An Unsolicited Advice on Key Words One Needs To Employ When Writting To A Serbian Official

Yeah , right....Sure, why not...
Dear Mr. Griffiths,

i`ve read your blog entry on situation in Burma and hope that you will forgive my rudeness when i say that while you do have the correct map you are reading in upside down ;)

Dont, in good Lords name, compare Slobodan - Unter Den Linden - Milosevic with Kostunica. The later might and most deffinetely will take it as a commendation and a compliment.

Further more do not use EU as an argument in communication with the current clique unless your trying to point out how vitious, evil, diabolical or doomed to colapse in next 3 mins someone or something is. Use parallels that would truly warm the recipients hearts - Moldova, Beloruss, Russia...Myanmar for that matter.

Also I strongly advise against using fudamentalist and dictatorial nature of a system while advocating Serbian action against it. Arguing that they contemplate becoming another US client-state (what evet that might actually mean) or arguing that they are becoming a nuissance to Holly Mother Russia might get you much further down the road!

Junta, my friend is not a bad word in Serbia. Its a dreamed-about situation for the people you suggest writting to. When they wake up with a blissed smile on their face - they dreamt about running a junta of their own.

Mentioning B92 to these folks is like sticking a finger in their eye and asking them to love it! Dont do that.

On that note, I will also take the liberty to advise against mentioning the demonstrations - `cause you see they havent participated in them.

Never ever, under any circumstance, mention embargo as an argument either! In case you havent noticed by now - we are very high on idea of bringing the so called new world order down - so breaking an embargo imposed by the so called quasiinternational community, in aiding what you your self call "junta" - will be considered as an ideal opportunity to make the first step towards the downfall of imperialistic west!

This letter should therefore sound something like this:

The pesty liberal and democratic quasi-regime in Burma is granting more and more civic freedoms to their citizens and are seriously geting in the way of a whole bunch of russian interests, making the Kremlin VERY angry and pissed. On top of that they are also contemplating joining NATO and allowing US army, navy and airforce bases on their territory. And your government is supporting that, Mr Prime-Minister by arming their civil-controled army. Kremlin will hear about this!

Please MIND THE KEY WORDS if you want to get through to hearts of Kostunica and the lot.