Along the Human Walkway

Chris Farmer RSS / 20.05.2009. u 11:10

In case he would like to use one of them, the City of Belgrade deployed its 4,500 uniformed policemen to close down the streets for Joe Biden.

I think, as a courtesy, this may have been somewhat over the top, but I am not a diplomat, I suppose.

Contrary to what you are already setting your surmisers to surmise, this is NOT going to be a litany of complaints about the fact that our already traffic-impaired City on the Danube has literally been closed down today, forcing people to either a) take extraordinary measures to come to work or b) stay home in their pyjamas and watch Oprah. In fact, it is quite the opposite.

This morning, from around ten until around eleven, I walked the 25-minute distance to my office. We all knew that there would be traffic problems today, and some of us prepared for it. I left my home with a backpack full of electronics, a new shirt, music, and a full measure of determination.

What I saw along the Human Walkway which was New Belgrade was as much of a slice of life in the White City as I should ever have hoped to see. People were swarming along the sidewalks while the busses stagnated along the roads in long lines. No cars moved.

Some were wearing jogging suits, carrying briefcases. Some were in business suits carrying Ipod cases. Some seemed to have been waiting all of their lives for this day and looked happy, laughing their way through the streams of humanity. Others (many others) grumbling, spoke loudly into mobile phones, gesticulating widely for the benefit of passers-by who should take note of their Indignation. At least one of these gesticulations resulted in a hand-to-face injury.

No, it was not me.

I observed people carrying fishing poles on the way to the river. I watched normally office bound fashion victims making their way gingerly along the street in high heels. Bank managers and kiosk owners walked side by side. I passed my neighborhood barber and the Governor of the National Bank. Even he, I thought. Even he.

I composed a few letters on the way:

Dear Joe,

Do you really think that these security precautions upsetting our city streets  have made people want to shoot you LESS or more?

Love,

Belgrade

A lot of backpacks (including mine) were in evidence. Some people pulled rolling suitcases along, mistakenly having taken a lot of papers home last night to work on them. One man was wearing a tie and jacket and shorts. My hope is that he plans to change in the office. Large groups of people milled about the bus stations, waiting for the hubbub to pass. Hubbub is the technical term for Vice-President of the United States.

We looked at each other, watching for signs of how to respond emotionally to this Crisis. There were a prodigious amount of us who sneered openly. Some carried the sad faces of resignation, ready to get back to the office or kafana and shake their heads because they KNEW it would be this way. Some of us were just blank-faced and sweating with the unaccustomed practice of placing our feet one in front of the other as a means of transportation.

Dear Joe,

Did you ever stop to think that the police are doing this NOT to protect you from us, but to protect US from you? After all, your predecessor Dick Cheney made it legal for vice presidents to shoot people in the face....

Kind regards,

Belgrade

I began to wonder, as you do as you walk along, what was happening in the rest of the city. If all the cops are guarding the streets for the vice-presidential feet (or wheels), should we not be planning to loot the city blind? I then formulated a business plan for placing ice-cream and coffee concessions on each street corner where pedestrians were detained for extended periods in case the motorcade should motor by. As we waited on the corner of Proleterske Solidarnosti and Bulevar Zorana Djindjica, across from Société Générale, I wondered about the guy next to me who was CLEARLY late for work and was about to tell his boss that he was stood for an hour on the other side of the street, detained by the police. I could see the wheels spinning as he embellished and polished the excuses one by one.

Joe Biden has given us the chance to see each other at our best and worst, on public display, along our cracked and unmaintained sidewalks. He has afforded us an opportunity to break with dull routines and replace them with grueling activity instead. We should thank you, Joe.

Dear Joe,

Thanks for the visit. We really appreciate it. But next time, send a postcard.

XXOO

Everyone

Atačmenti



Komentari (19)

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mungos92 mungos92 11:37 20.05.2009

:))))))

Dear Chris,

Nothing else, but a strong recommendation!

P.S. Maaan, you have made my day!


Mongoose, The
pix3lchick pix3lchick 14:01 20.05.2009

Re: :))))))

Thanks for the article, Chris, I truly enjoyed it.
Not as much as my husband who had to crawl to sewage system and abandoned WWII underground bunkers in order to reach his office. Which is (on normal day) 20 minutes walk from our appartment, but which is unfortunately on the other side of Kneza Milosa. It might as well be on the other bank of river Euphrates... it took him over the hour to get there.

Right now, I'm housing two of my son's classmates, who can't walk to their homes (on the other bank of Euphrates). While I tend to agree that 8 year old boys have quite similar effect to their surroundings as fully equipped terrorists, I doubt they present an actual threat. Apparently, police of Belgrade doesn't think so.
gorran2 gorran2 11:40 20.05.2009

Dear Joe,

Thanks for the visit. We really appreciate it. But next time, send someone clever and competent. Clever bomb, for example. To control the damage.
Atomski mrav Atomski mrav 13:19 20.05.2009

Watch for those snipers in the bushes...

drug.clan drug.clan 13:41 20.05.2009

Re: Watch for those snipers in the bushes.

Atomski mrav



pix3lchick pix3lchick 13:54 20.05.2009

Re: Watch for those snipers in the bushes.

Back in the days of communist glamor, whenever Comerade Tito was coming back from one of his trips to prosperous and free world (Uganda, North Korea, Myanmar... etc) entire city was blocked, exactly like today. Streets were cleared, passengers were stranded on the other side of the street, window blinds were to be closed, no idle watching of the motorcade from the balconies. Ah, the glory of those days seem to be back...
Atomski mrav Atomski mrav 13:55 20.05.2009

Re: Watch for those snipers in the bushes.

What about the pioneers with little flags and flowers...?
pix3lchick pix3lchick 14:09 20.05.2009

Re: Watch for those snipers in the bushes.

Atomski mrav
What about the pioneers with little flags and flowers...?

They will have them at Prishtina.
I am not joking.

We should have had them along Mr. Biden't route too.
Something like this, maybe:

That would be a real kicker
mungos92 mungos92 14:11 20.05.2009

Re: Watch for those snipers in the bushes.

pix3lchick
Back in the days of communist glamor, whenever Comerade Tito was coming back from one of his trips to prosperous and free world (Uganda, North Korea, Myanmar... etc) entire city was blocked, exactly like today. Streets were cleared, passengers were stranded on the other side of the street, window blinds were to be closed, no idle watching of the motorcade from the balconies. Ah, the glory of those days seem to be back...


Yes, but Tito was the president of ours & and damn successful one.
This guy is not even a president. Except of, maybe, some albanian pub concil or something related.

Mongoose, The LTM
Jelena Pavlović Jelena Pavlović 14:32 20.05.2009

Re: Watch for those snipers in the bushes.

Atomski mrav
What about the pioneers with little flags and flowers...?

They grew up in the meantime and became establishment.
Atomski mrav Atomski mrav 14:34 20.05.2009

Re: Watch for those snipers in the bushes.


They grew up in the meantime and became establishment.


uniceps uniceps 16:47 20.05.2009

A+

Way to go Chris!
gorran2 gorran2 18:04 20.05.2009

Hit The Road Joe

pix3lchick pix3lchick 18:26 20.05.2009

Re: Hit The Road Joe

gorran2
Dont' you come back no more.

Ooooh, I could say so much on the topic of anarchoantiglobalisticwhatever, but I really don't have a time right now. Besides, it would turn out to be massive troll. It makes me pee a little from laughing too hard every time, though...
gorran2 gorran2 22:27 20.05.2009

Re: Hit The Road Joe

It makes me pee a little from laughing
It is not shame - it comes with the age. You should try diapers for adults...
pix3lchick pix3lchick 14:12 21.05.2009

Re: Hit The Road Joe

gorran2
It makes me pee a little from laughing
It is not shame - it comes with the age. You should try diapers for adults...

No, we should try training pants for wee boys and girls who are rooting for North Korea by using laptops bought by their capitalism-infested parents. But like I said, it's a whole another topic, and it shouldn't be discussed here.
uniceps uniceps 18:16 20.05.2009

Hey Joe

Aleksandar Vasović Aleksandar Vasović 20:12 20.05.2009

CONGRATS

a good one
mikimedic mikimedic 00:06 21.05.2009

how 'bout

dear joe,

'you are our idol. but now go away'.

(we r not angels).

Arhiva

   

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