"To err is human, to blame it on someone else is more human"

"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you are a mile away and you have their shoes"

"One good thing about being wrong is the joy it brings to others"

"Never argue with a stupid person. First they will drag you down to their level, then they will beat you with experience"

"If you believe everything you read, don't read"

"Smile and the world smiles with you. Laugh alone and the world thinks you are an idiot"

"If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me"

"happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory"

"Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional"

"Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves"