2013-09-19 14:24:29
Politika| Satira

Economical Excerpts

Chris Farmer RSS / 19.09.2013. u 15:24

The following is a loose translation, based more on intent and intuition than actual lingustic accuracy, of Economic Adviser to the Government of Serbia Dominque Strauss-Kahn for the media at a governement press conference. 

While committed to helping develop the economic capacities of Serbia, the Adviser leaves most of these key messages as implied, focusing instead on his main areas of expertise and topics of specific interest to him in his new role.

 

"I am the author of this book," I told the nice man who looked Official. "Why is it in the Architecture section?"

"Oh, it says Architecture, but really it's not."
"I can see that. But people will not look for it here."
"This is Biography, Journals, and Autobiography."
"But it says Architecture."
"It says that, but it is not."

 

BELGRADE – Despite the best efforts of his readers, Chris Farmer’s new book “Grumpy in Belgrade” is hitting the bookshelves even as we speak. With respect to the owners of these bookshops, we will not mention their names here. They know who they are.

“Grumpy in Belgrade” brings together the blogs, essays, and increasingly obscure thoughts of one American in Belgrade, struggling to make sense of the nonsensical. And making nonsense of the rest.

 

Is it possible to have an opinion with joining a Cause?

Case Study: Same-sex Marriage. It is not acceptable anymore to merely accept this and generally agree with it. The Socially Acceptable Model is to "celebrate" it. We must loudly proclaim our most underscored, emphatic, and rainbow-painted glee. We must show Vindication and Exaltation. Otherwise, we might be mistaken for a Scalia-style dissenter.

And God forbid we actually do dissent...

 
2014-10-31 09:41:19
Društvo| Satira

Cat's Cradle

Chris Farmer RSS / 31.10.2014. u 10:41

VERY FEW PEOPLE know that the traffic laws in Belgrade were written by a cat.

For many years, I have been looking for an adequate explanation for traffic in the White City. I have wondered why it was ok to come to a stop at a red light and then step out of your car and go get a coffee.

The question of right-of-way was fairly easy to figure out - everyone has it. At the same time. Especially at a four-way intersection with six ancillary roads leading into it. Why waste time trying to figure out who has priority when the answer is obviously me? And when you need to transfer (quite suddenly) from the far left lane to the far right, you just do it. Everyone will always get out of the way.

And they will greet you with friendly honking as you go.

 
2010-08-01 13:47:39
Društvo

Summer Flea Marketing

Chris Farmer RSS / 01.08.2010. u 14:47

If it is nowhere to be found, conventional wisdom tells us, then it may not exist. Conventional wisdom used to tell us that if it is nowhere to be found it might be at the flea market. I think this is no longer true.

I just spent three days and nights billeted at Buvljak, the flea market next to Vero in New Belgrade, and I have come away with the following inventory:  One t-shirt, a plastic box with no apparent function, one cd of dubious and unnamable origin, a bread box, four unassorted pillows, a toilet seat, and a hub cap. None of these items, of course are on my list. And none of the items on my list are checked as being obtained.

 
2014-03-04 11:44:09
Biz| Društvo| Ekonomija

The Wages of Apathy

Chris Farmer RSS / 04.03.2014. u 12:44

Why do I bother to fight?

I feel the need, the urge, to say something, but I know full well that my words will drift in the breeze like so much background noise - not even remotely disturbing to the people who should hear them, people who should be deeply disturbed by them.

The saddest part about trying to explain the deplorable, stressful, and completely unacceptable experience

 
2010-01-22 22:22:03
Društvo

Intercultural Parking

Chris Farmer RSS / 22.01.2010. u 23:22

 

 Man walks up to pay station at Sava Centar to pay for his parking. He puts in a folded 100 dinar note.

"Currency not accepted"

The notice says in English. Man unfolds the bill and smoothes it on his hand. Drops it. Damn. Picks it up, smoothes it out, and tries again.

 

I have had just about enough.

We have now drifted into the third year of GFC (that is the Global Financial Crisis and specifically NOT Going For Coffee) and everyone is STILL nay-saying the economy and waxing gloomy about the prospects for this year.

What do you think for this year? Do you see any signs of improvement? Do you think we are out of it? Do you think it will continue? In the questions we should see the answers. The point is that nobody really knows, and everyone seems to be turning to friend, neighbor, family member, and random guy on the street waiting for the light to change to see if the light will really be changing or not.

 
2014-03-29 15:11:14
Društvo| Životni stil

Too Hip, Gotta Go

Chris Farmer RSS / 29.03.2014. u 16:11

I just found out I am too old to be a hipster. I am just old-fashioned. If I were under 30, then old-fashioned would qualify as hipster. Thus spake the Urban Dictionary.

The hipster has become ubiquitous. They sport my old clothes. They wear my old glasses. They listen to music which either predates me or hasn't yet been invented. In fact, every time that I sorted through my old things and gave them away, I was helping to forge the Hipster.

 

Chris Farmer

Chris Farmer
Datum rоđenja:  13.09.1965 Pol:  Muški Član od:  15.07.2006 VIP izbora:  42 RSS RSS Feed Saznajte više o autoru

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