Thinking Toys

In order for me to have taken this photo - which I recently did at a Belgrade toy emporium which will remain Nameless for Legal Reasons - several Stupid Things had to happen.

First the manufacturer had to come up with an idea for a game. He proceeded then to "invent" tic-tac-toe. Realizing, as he must have, that even in the People's Republic of Some Country which will Remain Nameless for Legal Reasons people played this game for centuries already, he had give it a marketing spin. "Let's make it a LEARNING game, Mr. Chang." Mr. Chang (not his Real Name) then thought about it for awhile and came up with this:

The product was mass produced, sold, and shipped out to countries in, say, Southeast Europe. A certain Mr. Jovanovic (again, not his Real Name), apparently reading too quickly through Chang's catalogue, bought up a stock.

The end result is the arrival in Serbia of "Inetllectual Games" for the inetllectually (sic) challeneged (ibid).

A couple of years ago, there was great hoopla about the safety of toys being sold into Europe and the US from the same People's Republic of Some Country. US toy manufacturer Mattel made a series of toy recalls because of lead paint, small magnets that could be swallowed, and other safety issues.

The hooplars (this should be the word for "creators of hoopla," but in fact I just made it up as it seems to be the spirit of the thing) were determined to protect children from parents who forgot to teach children the difference between toys and chocolates. By sending back the toys, they saved the lives of many.

While they had successfully safeguarded the stomachs of these innocents, they left their brains completely unprotected. The generation of children who should now grow up to become scientists and philosophers may end up as taxi drivers and kiosk operators because they had their intellects stunted by learning Tic-Tac-Toe from Mr. Chang.

This informational message has been brought to you by the campaign called "Use Your Spellcheck!" which was started long ago in my office with my staff and to date has absolutely NO adherents whatsoever. Donations are welcome.