Društvo| Kultura| Satira

The Cautiously Arched Eyebrow

Chris Farmer RSS / 24.05.2010. u 18:54

LONDON. In England, "thank you" means excuse me. But, in case you were worried, "excuse me" also means excuse me - and, consequentially, thank you. Thank you.

In the past week, much like the dehydrated man fresh from the desert, I have been showered with politeness from people whom I do not know. There are altogether too many people smiling. As a traveler in this not-so-strange land, I feel a growing sense of paranoia. There is just something wrong about all this courtesy.

 

Things which will not happen in Serbia: A Casebook.

1)  Found blocking the door of a van while standing on the street, I turned to see a man waiting patiently for me to move along and then excusing himself for having inconvenienced me by making me move out of the way.

2)  Enquiry made of a shopkeeper: do you know where I could find.... something or other, not important. The answer: Well I am sorry we just have nothing like this, but you could try the people up the street or talk to Walter on Bishopsgate Road, I am sure he had one and what a lovely idea to buy a Something or Other! I used to have several Something or Others here in the shop ....

3)   Another enquiry (Walter at Bishopsgate) answered: I am afraid not, but leave me your details and I will track one down and call you. And he did. And he called.

4)   Upon giving a £20 note for a £1.70 coffee: silence.

If you recognized the reactions people have had to me, then it is clear that you are not in Serbia and you should probably stop reading this post right now. On most occasions, the van guy would have screamed his head off at me, pushed me out of the way, or even run me down.

In the shops, the reaction to any query is "nema" - even if the shopkeeper has a Something or Other in her hand and two under her arm.

And you certainly do NOT, in the name of God, recommend some other place to buy one! As to Walter, if shop owner in Belgrade took my phone number, I would immediately engage the Cautiously Arched Eyebrow in great suspicion. Nor would I EVER expect him to think about what I asked for more than 2 seconds. One second is enough usually, and never again.

And don't get me started on people refusing to make change. Here, not a peep is peeped - they just give you your change.

But in England, things are different. We drive on the left. We smile when we are angry. To be sure, it does not mean that there are no villains here - in fact, it is harder to know who the villains are because everyone seems so damn nice.

The Cautiously Arched Eyebrow does not wish to believe in this kind of behavior. In a few days I will be back in Serbia and I want to belly-ache about poor service again as ever I have. But if my experience here in London has been any indication, then I will not be able to complain anymore.

PREMISE: When things are generally bad, but perhaps only a little below the standard you might expect, you complain and winge in effort to a) assuage you sense of what is Right; b) to possibly (albeit improbably) effect the minor changes  needed to attain the Acceptable; or c) because reasonable conditions or standards are within sight.

However, when you have been shown evidence of interplanetary differences on planes of existence which require specific bending of the space-time continuum to fathom much less to traverse, the complaining grows silent. What is the good of crying out if the result cannot possibly take you any closer to what you know?

Therefore, if there is a fly in your soup, complain. If there is a spotted dinosaur in your soup, shrug it off.

Atačmenti



Komentari (11)

Komentare je moguće postavljati samo u prvih 7 dana, nakon čega se blog automatski zaključava

yugaya yugaya 20:01 24.05.2010

duh.

in the shops, the reaction to any query is "nema" -


Try Hungary. Instead of special offer flyers, windows and the door are plastered with notes that tell you what they don't have/ won't do. Do not, under any circumstances, attempt to ask anything.

Out of Beirut Out of Beirut 08:16 25.05.2010

Very good

A very good blog entry, thanks. I think I'll show it to quite a few people.

P.S. I'm not in Serbia.
jednatanja jednatanja 09:20 25.05.2010

Haha :)

Brilliant. Reminds me of our recent trip to the US. Upon arriving we were melting from friendliness, smiles, people -ones who you don´t know, willing to chat, smile at the kids. After our trip was extended for a week because of Eyjafjallajoekull, we started minding many more things than at the start of our trip: food, very slow grocary store cashiers, a guy yelling at us "private property!" as we took a walk uphill, long commercial segments on TV. The list grew longer in the last few days. Couldn´t wait to get back to Germany with very non-chatty folks but also efficient cashiers, healthy food choices, and only 3 commercial breaks during a movie. Now we are back to criticizing the German weather, but not minding the lack of smiles -as you say, we shrugg off the dinasours in the soup.
srdjan.pajic srdjan.pajic 15:09 25.05.2010

Re: Haha :)

jednatanja
Brilliant. Reminds me of our recent trip to the US. Upon arriving we were melting from friendliness, smiles, people -ones who you don´t know, willing to chat, smile at the kids. After our trip was extended for a week because of Eyjafjallajoekull, we started minding many more things than at the start of our trip: food, very slow grocary store cashiers, a guy yelling at us "private property!" as we took a walk uphill, long commercial segments on TV. The list grew longer in the last few days. Couldn´t wait to get back to Germany with very non-chatty folks but also efficient cashiers, healthy food choices, and only 3 commercial breaks during a movie. Now we are back to criticizing the German weather, but not minding the lack of smiles -as you say, we shrugg off the dinasours in the soup.


I see, the cashiers are the problem. Were you afraid to use self-serving lines?
jednatanja jednatanja 18:20 25.05.2010

Re: Haha :)

yes!
dant.gwyrdd dant.gwyrdd 09:42 25.05.2010

because everyone seems so damn nice

Keyword being seems.

Something that's an endless source of continual arguments between me and my Anglo-Saxon girlfriend. The core of the problem being that she equates "seeming nice" with "being nice" whereas I equate it with "being insincere" (unless one is genuinely nice, but that would be being nice and not just seeming nice). A fundamental difference which is undoubtedly partly cultural.

Good text, tho.
blogovatelj blogovatelj 19:54 25.05.2010

Re: because everyone seems so damn nice

Something that's an endless source of continual arguments


I prefer the German way of business that jednatanja mentioned.
In Canada there are two types of stores.
First, such as Walmart, hire people who do not know anything about their job. All of them work for peanuts.
Second type is where sales persons earn their money based on commission. They all wear plastic smiles all day long. Thier salary depends on their cheating capabilities.
I like neither of those beacuse my choice is to deal with somebody who's basically dumb or, on the other hand, with an extraoridinary cheaters.
Because I can see the difference between "seeming nice" and "being nice"
dant.gwyrdd dant.gwyrdd 20:13 25.05.2010

Re: because everyone seems so damn nice

Ah, the plastic smile... I honestly do not know whether the people who smile like that actually think that showing teeth is the same as smiling, that you can't see the difference, or if some sort of a culture-wide willing suspension of disbelief is in effect there when it comes to that plastic smile. Although, I'm leaning towards the last option. (My experience is mostly with Americans.)

P.S.
I prefer the German model as well.
duchesse duchesse 08:29 26.05.2010

Re: because everyone seems so damn nice

All of them work for peanuts.

In the shops, the reaction to any query is "nema"

And don't get me started on people refusing to make change

I think salespeople in Belgrade have an average monthly income of approximately 20,000 RSD.
A few days ago, I was standing in a line, in a local grocery store, listening to a Chinese guy who was trying to chat up the cashier. He bragged, in broken Serbian with a thick Chinese accent, about the fact that he'd sold 17,000 RSD worth of goods that day. She replied she couldn't earn that much in a month.
Out of Beirut Out of Beirut 13:27 26.05.2010

Re: because everyone seems so damn nice

Because I can see the difference between "seeming nice" and "being nice"


If I think of the actual examples, I see that the shopkeepers were both: they seemed nice and acted helpfully.

The van driver wasn't paid anything to be courteous; moreover, he has put himself at discomfort 'unbearable' to most Serbs.
Anonimni Pojedinac Anonimni Pojedinac 18:45 25.05.2010

Wow

Great Britain seems so much better than Serbia!

It's good you told us.
Poor you. Having to live in Serbia without complaining and you KNOW BETTER.

Arhiva

   

Kategorije aktivne u poslednjih 7 dana