I am away from my desk and unable to read my mail.
In fact, I am very far away from my desk and the city of its construction and even the country in which it is currently located.
And I am not so much unable to read my mail as I am unwilling to read it.
The mountains of mail-bot generated drivel which gets sent out spontaneously like virtual mushrooms and infests the dark corners of my inbox can wait until I return to my desk (see above) and, upon opening it, permanently clog my mail server.
In case of emergencies, Zombie attacks, earthquake, flood, or other natural and supernatural disasters, I will perhaps read about it when I get back.
If by dint of supervening act and extraordinary circumstances you have been able to reach me during this period in which, as previously noted, I am desk-away, then I shall not be held liable, responsible or otherwise accountable for the predictable grumpiness of my response.
Have a nice day,