Društvo| Putovanja| Životni stil

Herding and Pasturing

Chris Farmer RSS / 07.05.2013. u 16:45

The scene in the Sava Centar parking lot should have told me everything.

Having been told to meet our bus in this parking lot to begin the 12-hour trip to Halkidiki, we duly showed up at the appointed time and place. Instead of seeing our bus, however, we saw at least 20 such conveyances, surrounded with hundreds of bag-laden holidaymakers.

The process of transformation had already begun.

The cacophony of voices, calling to each other, crying children, screaming parents, laughing youth, and assorted conversational counterpoints, had already begun to meld together into a collective kind of lowing and mooing. The crowds began slowly to be herded into their various corrals, moving with a kind of unfocused cud-chewing determination, offering the occasional disgruntled "moo" when prodded by any of the herders (i.e., Tour Leaders).

We, the large domesticated ungulates, having renounced our humanity for the sake of a cheap getaway to the Aegean Sea, were now branded and rounded up into the different buses. Slotted into our stalls, the bus slowly rolled off into the horizon.

We spent a few hours uncomfortably in our stalls, occasionally grazing on the feedbags we all prepared while we were still humanoids - at the sound of the first sandwich being unwrapped, the entire herd broke out the food, and the sound of elliptical chewing pervaded the bus, drowning out the music leaking out of the speakers.

When from time to time we were released from our captivity, the movement of the herd was in the predictable pattern. Left to our own devices, the cows spread out from the door of the bus over a wide area, but soon the herd was drawn back together near the door. Stamping our feet against the cold in the night; hiding from the sunlight in the shade of the bus during the day.

As cattle go, we were a very well behaved herd. Back on the bus, we received instructions as to how to telephone (and the herd complied), where and what to eat (and the cows complied), and what to look at (this met with mixed success - we are cows after all).

Upon arrival for pasturing in Halkidiki (which is the Greek word for land-inhabited-by-vacationing-Serbs), some of us reverted in due course to human form. Others, however, maintained the integrity of the herd and moved together in small groups, looking for places to graze, protecting the young in their circles, and mooing in distinctively Serbian tones. When a few got separated from the others, they would begin their bovine vocalizations in order to reconstitute the herd. Cows are generally social creatures and enjoy each others' company. Mini-corrals were organized for short range cattle drives to various new pastures, and the lowing ranks held. The cowpokes could be proud of their livestock.

Finally, after a few days, the process went into reverse and we were led from our temporary stables back to the comfort of the bus-stalls. It was apparent from the first that the social structure of the herd had been changed somewhat, with certain breeds and families choosing to intermingle.

The herding and pasturing was complete. Many of us returned to our lives without even realizing that the bovine transformation ever took place. But others, in terrifying awareness, knew it all too well. The experience, for the uninitiated, can be traumatizing.

Next year I will certainly give thought to joining a flock of birds instead.

 

Atačmenti



Komentari (12)

Komentare je moguće postavljati samo u prvih 7 dana, nakon čega se blog automatski zaključava

blue rider blue rider 17:29 07.05.2013

Skies are not so clear as well

If you are unlucky, your bird will be a local one, where food is sometimes also delivered air style (read crew throwing you snacks three rows away), where phones are used while the plain is moving towards runway (cant u see i am busy?), where some from the flock dont understand numerical values of seats, where some birds (the one flying to thesaloniki) are so small that bags are almost in your ear, the noise at the same time preventing you from having a coherent thought (which act helps)... The best way to go, if not very far, is a car (look, it rhymes).
Chris Farmer Chris Farmer 18:35 07.05.2013

Re: Skies are not so clear as well

The best way to go, if not very far, is a car.
But while on the road, watch out for the holes, and the tolls.
Better yet still, if you don't mind pain, is a train.
But all things considered, when you want to roam, just stay home.

maksa83 maksa83 19:04 07.05.2013

Re: Skies are not so clear as well

just stay home.


jednatanja jednatanja 22:13 07.05.2013

welcome back

Many of us returned to our lives without even realizing that the bovine transformation ever took place.




A bus trip after high-school years looses much of its charm. Minivan may be a safer option for the middle-aged.
Chris Farmer Chris Farmer 22:39 07.05.2013

Re: welcome back

oskar-z-wild oskar-z-wild 23:20 07.05.2013

Bargains

Someone forgot to tell you that bargain-hunting is solely an English affair. Out here it is the last option.
Chris Farmer Chris Farmer 23:44 07.05.2013

Re: Bargains

oskar-z-wild
Someone forgot to tell you that bargain-hunting is solely an English affair. Out here it is the last option.


I hate it when people forget to tell me stuff!
Aleksandra Mitrovic Aleksandra Mitrovic 10:51 08.05.2013

Re: Bargains

I'm trying to explain the same same thing to my English partner. He's looking at me like I'm insane while I'm trying to tell him that there's no such a thing like free dinner. Everybody know that bargain is too expencive for our mental health
oskar-z-wild oskar-z-wild 11:09 08.05.2013

Re: Bargains

Every Saturday a street-seller opens a bargain-fruit-stand just in front of my window in the High Street, so I buy a huge £2 scoop of oranges which last until next Saturday - that's my life in the UK.
Chris Farmer Chris Farmer 13:06 08.05.2013

Re: Bargains

Aleksandra Mitrovic
I'm trying to explain the same same thing to my English partner. He's looking at me like I'm insane while I'm trying to tell him that there's no such a thing like free dinner. Everybody know that bargain is too expencive for our mental health


NO bargain ever goes unpunished.

Aleksandra Mitrovic Aleksandra Mitrovic 11:01 08.05.2013

all inclusive

and the funniest thing is when people are complaining at food in "all inclusive " resorts which they payed 3-400 euros including the flight for 10 days. I mean....it's obvious that they are going to cut the corners somewhere for that kind of money and the food is the most obvious solution
oskar-z-wild oskar-z-wild 11:18 08.05.2013

Harvesting and Broadcasting

Did you hear that the British Library is going "harvest" the entire internet content of the British Isles, which does not surprise me as BBC has been "broadcasting" since 1932. It all goes back to our peasant origins.

Arhiva

   

Kategorije aktivne u poslednjih 7 dana