this is me - five years ago

spadalo92 RSS / 26.08.2008. u 06:42

Moja dobra drugarica me je zamolila da joj ustupim mesto u mom blogu. To cinim veoma rado. Dakle, moj gost danas,

SKYSPOTER:

FADE IN: COBBLES. TOMISLAV JOCIC MOVES QUICKLY. HE IS TEN, WITH BIG DARK EYES.
 
EXT: TOMISLAV IN FRONT OF CHURCH’S BIG WOODEN DOOR.
 
    TOMISLAV JOCIC (knocking on the door)
       Open the door!
 
EXT: LOGGER  CHOPPING WOOD. THERE IS HUGE TIDY PILE BEHIND HIM. HE IS IN SHIRTSLEEVES WITH A WOOLLEN WAISTCOAT.
 
LOGGER
What for?
 
TOMISLAV JOCIC (holding little booklet in his hands)
It’s St Nikolas’s day today! It says so in the calendar…
 
LOGGER
Forget calendars…They are political propaganda…No one believes in that any more.
 
TOMISLAV JOCIC
I remember my grandmother taking me to church on this day.
 
LOGGER
And I don’t remember seeing her.
 
TOMISLAV JOCIC
Because you were in prison…Convicted of stealing church property…
 
LOGGER (very close to Tomisalv Jocic, with axe)
Yes…but I’m doing community service now!
 
TOMISLAV JOCIC
Where’s the priest?
 
LOGGER
Doing the morning prayers.
 
TOMISLAV JOCIC
Can I join him?
 
LOGGER (Continue with chopping wood)
What for? Go home and do some school work.
 
TOMISLAV JOCIC
It’s the summer holidays.
 
INT: WE ENTER CHURCH FROM BACK DOOR. IT’S VERY DARK INSIDE. THE VIEW IS BLURRED. OLD PAINTINGS OF SAINTS ARE ON THE WALL. WE ARE WALKING TOWARDS THE MIDDLE OF THE CHURCH AND SUDDENLY WE HEAR SOMEONE EATING.
 
CLOSE UP: PRIEST VELJKO EATING PORK (you need to say pork what – pork chops, pork sausages etc)  FROM A PLATE? IN FRONT OF HIM. HE IS IN HIS WHITE VEST AND UNDERWEAR. ON HIS RIGHT IS A BOTTLE OF PLUM BRANDY.
 
INT: LOGGER ENTERS THE CHURCH FROM THE BACK DOOR.
 
LOGGER (humbly)
Veljko
 
PRIEST VELJKO (burping)
What?
 
LOGGER
Veljko, can you please talk to him?
 
PRIEST VELJKO (stuffing his mouth)
Who is he? Why? What does he want?
 
LOGGER
To come into church.
 
PRIEST VELJKO
To come into the church? Why?
 
LOGGER
Apparently it’s St Nicolas’s day and he is the protector of the village…
 
PRIEST VELJKO
Really?
 
LOGGER
Yes. It says so in the church calendar as well.
 
PRIEST VELJKO
How many times do I have to tell you that calendars are communist propaganda? We don’t publish them. The Government does…
 
LOGGER (holding a religious booklet)
I know…but this one was published before 1945...
  
PRIEST VELJKO
(Wiping his greasy hands on his white vest)
Give it to me…
 
PRIEST VELJKO (CONT’D)
(surprisingly, gets up and throws the meat on the floor )
Why didn’t you tell me this before, you motherfucker?
(remorsefully falls on his knees and begins to pray)
 
LOGGER
Well I didn’t know.
 
PRIEST VELJKO
Give me my robes.
 
LOGGER
The nun took them away to wash
 
PRIEST VELJKO
Do I have any others?
 
LOGGER
The ones with the hole left by the last priest. He was shot in those robes…but I guess they’re fine.
 
EXT: TOMISLAV JOCIC SITTING AT ROCK STARING AT THE CHURCH FRONT DOOR.
 
EXT: TOMISLAV JOCIC WATCHES THE DOOR OPENING. HE JUMPS UP, TAKES HIS HAT OFF. WALKS SLOWLY TOWARDS THE CHURCH.
 
CLOSE UP: VELJKO  AT THE DOOR. DRESSED IN HIS FULL PRIEST ROBES
 
TOMISLAV JOCIC (kisses his hand. Automatically he wipes his mouth with his hat)
The church wasn’t open today even though its St Nicolas’s day…and I…I am …don’t know how to say it…
 
PRIEST VELJKO
Gay?
 
TOMISLAV JOCIC
Well I am …
 
PRIEST VELJKO
We’ve never had any of your sort here yet
 
TOMISLAV JOCIC
…very religious…
 
PRIEST VELJKO (taken a back)
You are too young to be marginalized…
 
TOMISLAV JOCIC
My grandmother taught me the basic prayers…
 
PRIEST VELJKO
That’s good! There aren’t many young people who would be able to say that.
 
LOGGER (TO HIMSELF)
Thank God for that.
 
TOMISLAV JOCIC
And I was thinking it would be very nice to have the church open more often…for people to pray…and celebrate saints’ days..
 
PRIEST VELJKO
Oh, dear! The church is God’s place and as such it belongs to everyone, including you. You can come and pray any time you wish.
 
TOMISLAV JOCIC (unsure)
I came yesterday.
 
PRIEST VELJKO
We went to a baptism
 
TOMISLAV JOCIC
The day before yesterday?
 
PRIEST VELJKO
We had a funeral to attend…People do die unexpectedly…
 
TOMISLAV JOCIC
My granny came last Wednesday…
 
PRIEST VELJKO (Losing patience)
Why don’t you go home and see if your granny is still alive. She was a bit fragile when I saw her last.
 
TOMISLAV JOCIC (scared. Unsure whether to kiss the priest’s hand or not. In the end he kisses the cross on the priest’s belly and the hole shows up)
 
 
EXT: MORNING. A ROOSTER IS CHASING A CHICKEN. WE HEAR SOMEONE CHOPPING WOOD.
 
CLOSE UP: LOGGER IN THE SAME CLOSE-UP CHOPPING WOOD. THE PRIEST IS SQUATTING IN A CORNFIELD WITH A NEWSPAPER IN FRONT OF HIM.
 
PRIEST VELJKO (loudly)
Clinton doesn’t smoke? Does he?
 
LOGGER (pauses for second)
How am I supposed to know?
 
PRIEST VELJKO (to himself)
Why did he use a cigar then?
 
CPV: Veljko rips up some newspaper to clean his ass.
 
PRIEST VELJKO (CONT’D)
Do we have any duties today?
 
LOGGER
A funeral.
 
PRIEST VELJKO
Did the nun get my robes?
 
LOGGER
Not yet…It’s too early…
 
PRIEST VELJKO
Early?! The nun should have finished morning prayers, laid breakfast for the priests and started working in the garden by now.
 
EXT: OLD WOMAN IN A WHEELCHAIR. ON HER LAP IS PRIEST VELJKO’S ROBE
 
NUN (kisses his fat hand and wipes her mouth with scarf)
With God’s help.
 
PRIEST VELJKO (embarrassed)
With God’s help…I do apologise for my appearance…but I have nothing else to wear at the moment…Times are very hard…
 
NUN (jolly)
You don’t need to apologise…I’ve seen everything in my short life…
 
NUN CONT’D
I brought your robe…It’s very good quality. Washes very easily and dries very quickly…
 
PRIEST VELJKO
Yes. It is very good quality. My nephew bought it in a Chinese market.
 
NUN
I must go…I have to attend to the garden.
 
PRIEST VELJKO
Thank you. We wouldn’t know what to do without the nuns’ help around here.
 
INT: WE SEE PRIEST VELJKO HAVING A BATH IN THE CHURCH NEXT TO THE ALTAR. LOGGER IS HELPING HIM.
 
EXT: CLEAN PRIEST GETTING ON A DONKEY. LOGGER IS DRESSED IN SIMILAR ROBES BUT OF A LOWER RANK THAN THE PRIEST’S.
 
PRIEST VELJKO (sombre)
Who died?
 
LOGGER
Some man
 
INT: ROOM WITH A CORPSE IN THE MIDDLE. PEOPLE ARE STANDING AROUND WITH THEIR ARMS HANGING BY THEIR SIDES. PRIEST VELJKO ENTERS AND ALL OF THEM CROSS THEMSELVES.
 
PRIEST VELJKO
With God’s help.
 
PEOPLE
With God’s help!
 
PRIEST VELJKO (looking closely at the dead body)
How did he die?
 
WIDOW
An infection
 
PRIEST VELJKO(Jumps )
Let’s start the ceremony. Do you have red wine and incense?
 
INT: WOMAN BRINGS IT OBEDIENTLY.PRIEST VELJKO STARTS SINGING. LOGGER REPEATS HIS WORDS OCCASIONALLY. PEOPLE FROM TIME TO TIME CROSS THEMSELVES.
 
CLOSE IN: PEOPLE CLOSE THE CASKET.    
 
EXT: GRAVEYARD. PEOPLE GATHER AROUND THE EMPTY GRAVE. PRIEST VELJKO IS AT THE HEAD OF THE GRAVE. HE SIGNS, LOGGER FOLLOWS. FOUR MEN LIFT THE CASKET FROM THE HEARSE AND LOWER IT SLOWLY INTO THE GRAVE. WIDOW SCREAMS. THROWS HERSELF ON HER KNEES.
 
LOGGER (whisper)
It’s in very good condition.
 
MAN (With big mustaches, crippled face)
How can it be in good condition if it’s from the 18th century?
 
LOGGER
People didn’t use it. They weren’t very religious then
 
MAN
Where did you find it?
 
LOGGER (angrily)
In the church! Where do you think? In an antique shop?
 
MAN
I’m not sure…Did you try anybody else?
 
LOGGER
No one can read except you so there’s no point offering it them.
 
MAN
Do you really think I’d buy an 18th century bible for that amount of money just to read it?
 
LOGGER
Why not?
 
MAN (CROSSING HIMSLEF)
Where I would read it anyway? The church is closed most of the time!
 
LOGGER
You could celebrate red letter days, baptisms, go to funerals…
 
MAN
Yes but the priest does that! He would be out of a job if we started doing it ourselves.
 
LOGGER (giving up)
Well mate. You don’t know what you’ve just missed
 
MAN
Sin.
 
EXT: AROUND TABLE WITH FOOD AND DRINKS. PEOPLE STANDING, DRINKING AND EATING. SOME OF THEM ARE VERY DRUNK. THEY SING FOLK SONGS.
 
PRIEST VELJKO (waving back at the crowd around the table)
This nation will never change…Who is supposed to pay us?
 
LOGGER
The widow.
 
PRIEST VELJKO
Do you think she has the money?
 
LOGGER
Well if she doesn’t I’m sure you can get something else…
 
PRIEST VELJKO
Do we have enough flowers?
 
EXT: WIDOW COMES CLOSE TO PRIEST VELJKO AND LOGGER. SHE GETS AN ENVELOPE FROM HER BRA AND GIVES IT TO PRIEST VELJKO. HE COUNTS THE MONEY IN FRONT OF HER.
 
PRIEST VELJKO
Is that all?
 
WIDOW
That was what I have been told to give you.
 
PRIEST VELJKO
Fine. What about some money for this young man who sang so beautifully?
 
WIDOW (embarrassed, gets some more money from her bra, without an envelope)
This is all I’ve got.
 
PRIEST VELJKO (grabs the money)
It’s all warm! Here we are, you beautiful young singer. Take it.
(Turns to widow)
My condolences.
 
EXT: TOMISLAV JOCIC HOLDING HIS GRANDMOTHER’S HAND IN FRONT OF THE CHURCH DOOR.
 
TOMISLAV JOCIC
I told you. It’s never open.
 
GRANDMOTHER
They must be busy.
 
TOMISLAV JOCIC
But it’s God’s place and should belong to everyone.
 
GRANDMOTHER
It does.
 
TOMISLAV JOCIC
What happened with God today then? Is he asleep? Angry with us?
 
GRANDMOTHER (On her knees)
Let’s pray.
 
EXT: PRIEST VELJKO ON THE DONKEY. LOGGER WALKS IN FRONT OF THEM.
 
PRIEST VELJKO
Easter is coming.
 
LOGGER
Catholic or ours?
 
PRIEST VELJKO
Ours. We don’t celebrate the Catholic Easter. Or do we? Have you learnt anything since you came to work for me?
 
LOGGER
Yes I have learnt a lot but our Easter is in 8 weeks time…
 
PRIEST VELJKO
Yes and we should start visiting people before they spend all their money!
 
LOGGER
Good thinking…
 
PRIEST VELJKO
We’ll open the church and the confessional…
 
INT: PRIEST VELJKO IS SITTING IN THE CONFESSIONAL. ON THE OTHER SIDE IS A WOMAN CONFESSING HER SINS
 
 
 
WOMAN
I was unfaithful to my husband three times…
 
PRIEST VELJKO
Don’t worry about it….Leave 100 dinars to the church and repeat Our Father three times. God will forgive you.
 
CLOSE UP: THE WOMAN CLOSES THE DOOR AND WE SEE A SMALL NOTICE:
“IF YOU ARE BORED WITH SIN COME IN.” SOMEONE HAS ADDED “IF NOT PLEASE CALL THIS NUMBER“.
 
INT: WE HEAR PRIEST VELJKO’S LOUD VOICE IN THE CHURCH.
 
PRIEST VELJKO
Yes you lied to me.
 
CHILD (sitting nervously on the chair)
I can’t hear you!
 
PRIEST VELJKO
You stole apples from the church garden.
 
CHILD
I can’t hear anything! Do you want to swap places?
 
CHIILD (CONT’D FROM THE PRIEST’S PLACE)
Admit that you slept with my mum!
 
PRIEST VELJKO
You’re right! You can’t hear anything from in here.
 
INT: PRIEST VELJKO NODDING OFF. YOUNG WOMAN ENTERS THE CONFESSIONAL.
 
WOMAN
With God’s help.
 
PRIEST VELJKO
With God’s help.
 
WOMEN
I need advice…I slept with priest Slavko in his church. Is that a sin?
 
PRIEST VELJKO
Of course it’s a sin. You belong to this church! Go home and repeat Our Father ten times. Always cross yourself. And always think of this church!
 
INT: PRIESST VELJKO SNORING. TOMISLAV JOCIC ENTERS THE CONFESSIONAL.
 
TOMISLAV JOCIC
With God’s help.
 
PRIEST VELJKO (Looks through screen)
It’s you…Yes…With God’s help.
 
TOMISLAV JOCIC
I have decided…
 
PRIEST VELJKO
To join the party?
 
TOMISLAV JOCIC
Which party?
 
PRIEST VELJKO
Take your pick. There are so many of them at the moment.
 
TOMISLAV JOCIC
Oh no…I was thinking…
 
PRIEST VELJKO
To come out as a gay?
 
TOMISLAV JOCIC
No!
 
PRIEST VELJKO
You don’t want to join any party, you are not gay…why did you come then?
 
TOMISLAV JOCIC
I wish, I want to become a priest.
 
PRIEST VELJKO
That’s nice. What do you want me to do ?
 
TOMISLAV JOCIC
I want your blessing.
 
PRIEST VELJKO
Our life is very difficult. There’s no money in the profession. You get paid for Christmas, Easter and saints’ days.  And if you cover one village they usually all of them celebrate the same saint’s day and you get paid three times yearly. Have you considered a foriegn country?  Most of the people there don’t understand religion…
 
TOMISLAV JOCIC
I want to stay here…
 
PRIEST VELJKO (MOVES CLOSELY TO SCREEN)
A patriotic priest…You’ll probably get paid in chickens, jumpers, flowers…
 
TOMISLAV JOCIC
I don’t care…I want to stay with my people and teach them.
 
PRIEST VELJKO
Teach them what?
 
TOMISLAV JOCIC
The basic slav rules: do not kill, do not steal, do not lie, do not covet anything which is not yours, be faithful…
 
PRIEST VELJKO
You are young and naïve…but come on Wednesday and you will get my blessing.
 
INT: WE ENTER THE CHURCH THROUGH THE FRONT DOOR. ALL THE LIGHTS ARE ON AND THE CHURCH IS SHINING. PRIEST VELJKO IS WEARING A GOLD AND RED ROBE. PEOPLE ARE ALL DRESSED UP AND HOLDING A BOX OF MARLBORO LIGHTS. TOMISLAV JOCIC IS STANDING IN FRONT OF PRIEST VELJKO.
 
PRIEST VELJKO
We gather today to give our blessing to this young man for his desire to become a priest. Can we please start?
 
INT: CHURCH CHOIR SINGS. PRIEST VELJKO IS READING FROM BIBLE. LOGGER KANDISE???????
 
EXT: DONKEY TIED TO A BLOOMING PLUM TREE. WE SEE AN OLD WOODEN ICON ON THE BACK OF THE DONKEY. THERE IS A NOTE:
“BLESSED MARLBORO LIGHTS ONLY 100 DINARS. PLEASE ASK LOGGER FOR FURTHER INFO“.

 

 



Komentari (3)

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Unfuckable Unfuckable 11:25 26.08.2008

wow

zanimljivo

edit :
It’s the summer holidays.


možda je umetnička sloboda, no problemo 4 me, ali da se ne naljuti neko kome je zaista bitno
sveti Nikola pada u zimu
snezana mihajlovic snezana mihajlovic 12:37 26.08.2008

Re: wow

jobrenedade,
ima i letnji nidža.

a sad na temu.
samo bih ovo da izdvojim:

PRIEST VELJKO (sombre)
Who died?

LOGGER
Some man


razlog:
dovoljno.



i da istrolujem:
spadalo, šta bi sa kerićem?
Unfuckable Unfuckable 12:45 26.08.2008

Re: wow

paviš da sam neverziran religiozno, pa sve oprezno & izokola...'teo sam čak i pp da šaljem, al'vidim nije online...tko će po'vatati sva ta crvena slova, jbt - stvarno k'o država da im je štampala kalendar : )))))))

izvinjenje autorki, odoh da klečim na krupno struganoj piljevini ; )))
al' zanimljiv je txt

Arhiva

   

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