Christmas Spirited

WHILE THE CANDIDATES in our Yuletide Elections are getting dressed up as multiple Santa Clauses and fighting among each other about who will bring the BEST present to all the good boys and girls of Serbia (and you know perfectly well that ALL OF YOU have been good)…

WHILE THE BUSINESS community is getting ready to consumer the traditional generously-tolerated levels of Christmas spirits at company Christmas parties and gatherings stacked three deep per night from here to December 29…

WHILE THE BELGRADE constabulary is prepared to confiscate as much of those same Christmas spirits as possible from as many fineable motorists as can be trapped unawares as a means of fattening up the Christmas goose at home…

WHILE THE MERCHANTS and shopkeepers of the White City are digging out all that old, forgotten stuff from their back rooms, car trunks, and attics and declaring them to be Prime Gift Material at Exceptional Discounts…

WHILE THE CHILDREN pull their parents by the hands from toy store to toy store looking for the last Spiderman Action Figure and Bratz Dress-Up doll, only to find that they have all been strategically pulled off the shelves last week in order to avoid the holiday rush and the fear of running out of stock…

WHILE THOUGHTS OF holiday gift giving compel the citizenry to rush out from their work in a flurry every evening and into the shops, lining up to get their presents gift-wrapped even though the service will not be offered until after New Year’s…

WHILE STREET CLEANERS and snow brigade of Belgrade sits in their favorite cozy kafanas admiring the beautiful falling snowflakes as they drift into minor mountains along the crowded thoroughfares, causing an exciting display of slipping pedestrians and spinning Yugos…

WHILE THE SIDEWALKS of Bulevar Revolucije steadily congeal into an immovable mass of human tissue, umbrellas, hand-knit scarves, and bootlegged CDs until they become a solid impassable block, effectively trapping the casual bargain-hunter until December 31 at about nine in the evening…

WHILE THE CARS double and triple park along the same Bulevar, restricting traffic to an eighth of a lane and accumulating the distinctive and time-honored Christmas greetings from Belgrade’s Parking Servis…

WHILE ALL THIS is going on and much more, I call on all of us to remember that the meaning of Christmas, whether it is celebrated on December 25 or January 7, is NOT merely for commerce, that it is NOT to wreak total havoc on the lives of ordinary (and extraordinary) folks, that it is NOT a golden opportunity for fleecing your Fellow Man.

I entreat you to remember that the spirit of Christmas is something else altogether, and that all the time and efforts we spend in getting trampled, ticketed, going broke, and rushing around are part and parcel of something much greater, something much deeper, and much more spiritual...

…and as soon as I get the umbrella and hand-knit scarf surgically removed from my left leg, am discharged from the hospital, and pay off all my parking tickets, I promise to try to remember what that was.   

Probably some time next year.

Happy Holidays!