Viva La Roller Disco

I was in London last week and found myself taking an unexpected trip into roller disco heaven. No, I had not over-medicated myself, but had instead opted to go to some club called Canvas and roller-disco my arse off. And that was despite all the high-camp and the constant fear of time spent in traction. Apparently, it’s a craze that is gaining ground in London, as everyone I spoke to while I was there had either been or was going. My girlfriend persuaded me that it was something we couldn’t live without doing. And so at 8.30 on a Thursday night I found myself strapping on a pair of roller boots and hoping that my bones were still supple.

I had initially been a little dubious about the idea, after it had been mooted by my girlfriend. Roller Disco?! Hadn’t that gone out with the Ark, the preserve of big men in tight spandex? I was assured it wasn’t. And wasn’t it a little difficult? A little dangerous, perhaps? No more than ice-skating. (Flash up - Your fingers being removed by particularly sharp ice-skating blades. Or blunt ones). My suspicion wasn’t helped by the fact that I had heard that my brother’s mate had managed to roller disco over his leg, breaking it in the process. But then only an idiot could do that, right? As the night approached I went to see my brother and ask a little more about the skating. He didn’t think much of the place and kept alluding to ‘ramps’ between the rooms. My mind conjured up big, steep, scary ones. My girlfriend had twisted my arm. I was going. But what about those ramps…

We got to the club around 8 to queue up alongside other roller suicides, exchanging our cash and insurance cover for a pair of roller skates. Most were converted ski boots (I was graced with such a pair), whilst others were canvas shoes and original 70s versions. Donning them in the bar, we caught our first glimpse of the place. Decked out relatively simply the club consisted of three main roller rooms with small bar and lounge spaces attached to two of the rooms. The lighting and décor was simple and slightly camp but it was an interesting venue with a friendly vibe. I quickly made my way to the bar and got stung on the price of the beer. You were apparently a captive audience on your skates. I threw down my Stella hoping that a little Dutch courage wouldn’t have too great an impact upon my skating (I was to find after my second that it did and stopped). And so with a few wobbles, and some clutching at various items of furniture within reach, I made my way onto the dance floor.

And what a dance floor it was! Three rooms, each with its own musical speed and style; from Disco to House. And circling every of these rooms was a dancing, rolling, seething mass of party goers. My best hope I realized was to just dive in. And so that was exactly what I did. A little uncomfortable and unstable at first, I pretty quickly found my roller legs and spent the rest of the evening weaving and ‘dancing’ to the clubs various styles of music. My dancing however didn’t go much beyond hand movements designed to keep me upright, and the occasional daredevil knee bend or upper torso body pop. Dancing conservatism aside, I was pretty proud of myself that night. I didn’t stack it once and managed to hold my own, keeping up with the other skaters, in speed, if not in style. And swept along by the tide of other skaters it was difficult to not find yourself enjoying the place. Everyone had a grin on their face and the positive feeling that roller disco gave you was evidently contagious. The atmosphere was also helped by the varying degrees of ability amongst the roller skaters and the willingness of everyone to catch beginner skaters when they fell. It felt like one big, happy roller disco family.

And not even the ramps were that scary in the end. My brother’s description had terrified me, but the reality fell far short of my imaginings. About two metres long, with a gradient of only about 5 degrees, they actually helped you to zoom into each new room with momentum, allowing you to join the stream of skaters circling the floor. So, despite my fears, the night turned out great. I managed to stay upright all night and enjoyed myself immensely in the process, my girlfriend put me in the shade by roller skating backwards whilst having an even more enjoyable night, and it was all caught on film by Fox who were filming at the club that night. Apparently, roller disco is going mainstream, and after my experience in London I think that a lot of people will be excited to see it return once more from the clubbing wilderness…

Oh, and if you happen to see a programme on Fox about roller disco, look out for me, careening past more experienced skaters, on my way to the bar.