Long in tooth, sharp in elbow

As the New Kid on the Blog I have been wracking my brains about how I should begin. It’s difficult to know where to start so I’ve opted to dive in with some everyday experiences and proceed from there. And one of my most regular Belgrade experiences seems to be an ongoing and bitterly disputed battle with octogenarian bus passengers.  

I’m not sure what it is about Belgrade’s transport system, which is in many ways superior to that of London that provokes such regular confrontations with the elderly, but such battles seem to proliferate whenever there is ‘guzva’ (a crowd). Despite my best efforts, and believe me I have tried, I seem to always find myself in the crush beside a member of Belgrade’s senior citizenry who’s elbow feels most at home bruising my ribs. 

I have always opted for a respectful smile and tried not to resent their battling (you can’t, they are too good at it); and have often been rewarded with a smile back, before an offered seat gives them the opportunity to roundhouse me with a sack of potatoes.  

When I first arrived I always found myself the last person on the bus and left for dead by the marauding mass that climbed aboard before me. Over time I came to recognize the importance of quickly, nimbly. But I was often amazed that my competitors in the quickly, nimbly stakes would in England need a Stannah stair lift to attain such speeds. 

In England pensioners use buses but generally only at certain times of day. They just aren’t there for the rush-hour ‘guzva’ crush and they aren’t moving at break-neck speed if they are. They are sensibly at home where their elbows can rest on things like armchair arms, rather than being used as a means of crowd control. In Serbia the elderly brave the worst times, attacking the bus, perching precariously in bus doorways and striving for that elusive seat elbows first. 

The fact is that elderly people really must battle for seats on public transport in Belgrade.  And despite their elbows I understand their efforts. They just want a seat like the rest of us, and they are more in need than anyone.  

I myself, recognizing that my elbows really aren’t sharp enough, have opted to grow my nails and use them like Serbia’s victorious water polo players. With such an edge the seat will be mine and not even a sack of potatoes can stop me.