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Srbija 2020


“…No, I’m not American – I’m British!”

“…No, not English – British!”

“…I come from Serbia…”

“…Yes, that’s right, Serbia – from Zemun actually…”

“…No, I’m not just visiting – I live here”

“…Yes, that’s what I said – I live here”

“…Yes, I did choose to live here and no, I’m not…


i) Wanted by Scotland Yard / the FBI / any other law enforcement agency

ii) On the rebound from a failed love affair

iii) An agent of the CIA / KGB / MI 6/ Mossad / Fox News /any other subversive organisation

iv) A member of the mafia

v) Crazy (lud, sumanut, bezuman, umobolan, oduševljen nečim, lud za nečim, u raspadanju, askliman OR sklon padu)

vi) Lost

So why am I here? Am I an economic migrant, that scourge of all right thinking people (who live in countries with healthy economies)? Maybe I am. Before I departed Albion’s shores, certain events of a personal and emotional nature meant that my economic circumstances took a bit of a dive. So maybe there’s not much difference between my decision to leave Britain and others’ decisions to leave Serbia (if they can!) in search of a more secure, comfortable and prosperous future?

Or maybe I’m a refugee, an ‘asylum seeker’ – another popular pariah for citizens of some of the more ‘developed’ economies? Ok, I’ve not applied formally for my host Government’s protection from the excesses of the UK Authorities, but during my rare visits to Britain, the country’s lawmakers and many of its institutions seem to me to be increasingly obsessed by the need to interfere with my freedom to choose.

During a recent visit, I counted more than 100 cautionary notices displayed in a children’s adventure playground including “…Danger, don’t let your children touch this wall” (really!) Also, in what was (they tell us) supposed to be the country with the best news media in the World, most newspaper editors and TV pundits now seems determined to frighten me to death at every opportunity. If Bird Flu doesn’t get me, I’m sure to be blown to bits by terrorists or to die of dehydration because of global warming! Of course, all these are serious issues, but please, let’s keep a sense of proportion. In Britain, on average more people drown in swimming pools each year than are been killed by terrorists. But do we see media campaigns full of horror stories designed to keep us out of the water on sunny days? Do we heck! So yes, perhaps I am seeking asylum from a State, and ‘a Third Estate’, determined to curtail my fundamental human right to be a fool and to suffer the consequences!

Or maybe I just object to the things done by my Government in my name? Well yes, I do actually. The Country I now call home (and most of its neighbours too) has engaged in more than its share of recent ‘incursions’ into other peoples’ business and although it may not be obvious to many beyond our borders, some important lessons have been learned as a result which mean Serbia is probably going to become a very good place to live. However, in Britain it seems that I must be represented and governed by those who believe it’s Ok to wander the world killing people in my name, for some obscure ‘greater good’ or because some idiot in the White House tells them to. Sorry, I for one believe there is a better way to do things.

But please, don’t get the idea I’m a high-minded idealist who’s accepted voluntary exile to preserve the sanctity of his principles. I’m just as selfish as anyone else and I prefer to espouse my liberal principles in comfort. I also enjoy the company of warm, generous and interesting people and there’s even a perverse pleasure in the challenge of learning one of the five most complex languages in Linguaphone’s list.

But most of all, I enjoy the company of my Serbian wife who despairs of my grammar, but who is an enthusiastic convert to the Great British Pudding. Is there anyone else in Serbia making jam roly-poly or spotted dick? So there you have it, the real reason this late middle-aged, happily retired ‘British Bobby (ugh!) finds himself in Serbia. He’s discovered the delights of a Serbian wife, untainted by forty years of feminism who has introduced him to a wonderful country, a wonderful (and extraordinarily extended) family, and to the delights of mešano meso, pljeskavica, ćevapćići and kajmak. What more could a man ask for?

Andrew Beaumont biography 

Andy, this might help next time

when you ask yourself "what am I doing here?":
A good (Serbian) friend of mine married many years ago in NY City an American fellow (actually swell guy). She is a mathematician, and he is very talented musician, driving a cab at the time. They settled in New Jersey, had kids, etc. Then they came to Belgrade to spend couple of years. The guy learned the language, liked his new home, enjoyed his stay immensely. Then they went back to New Jersey, then back to Belgrade, and so on.
She is teaching math at school, while he got his degree in history, and is teaching (mostly) Serbian history to American kids.
After all these years, they are still trying to resolve a major problem: he likes Belgrade better than Atlantic City, she the oposite. They love each other and all, but I think they will never be able to resove this problem. But, they are trying...and still commuting between N.J. and Serbia.

when you get caught between the Moon

and New York City... best that you can do is...

Ok, ok, I know, but it sounds great!


this guy did play that song in Serbia - his first job was to join some band, and they had "tezga" at various sea resorts on the Adriatic:))) And it was good money for him, too!

Great story,

Šarski, :). Now I can't stop playing stupid song! Thanks, my friend!


"he likes Belgrade better than Atlantic City, she the oposite"
How, in the world, can anyone like that sad and ugly place? Radije bih zivela u Prijepolju, ma na stranu i okean!

Cannot help but notice the same tone in which the author writes about his former country as we, immigrants, share our thoughts about our past experiences, dissatisfactions, or disapointments with ours. The grass is greener on the other side.

That is exactly the point, stevie.

For her, anything not-Belgrade is better than Belgrade. Go figure. I don't know if she's ever been to Prijepolje, though:))


that she has to hate it so much.
I loooove Belgrade, still and despite.


a warm welcome and congratulations on a very nice text! hope you continue enjoying your new life (if it is still new) and have a great time in this blog-community!


Welcome here and good luck...

Joys of migration

"He’s discovered the delights of a Serbian wife, untainted by forty years of feminism"

Is this a joke?

My fiancée is British and I would be very upset if he ever said this to me.

Otherwise enjoy Serbia and I hope you stay as enthusiastic as you are now.


Dude…you sound like white chick who finally discovers black stallion from zemun :)

no wonder...british :D




dobro nam dosao.
jes da si bivsi drot, ali ako


I might come back when I retire.


BTW it's not true that there was no feminism in Serbia, unfortunatly most of it was the ugly part. Working independent women but at the same time housekeepers (children have to eat, you know).

Leda said:

I might come back when I retire.



that's true. Fortunately for me I have reserve choices and home countries. And I honestly doubt that life in Serbia will be at the level that I want sometime soon, and I don't have time to waste waiting for something big to happen (of course, if it's not the Higgs boson).

Ok, I understand,

same here, but that still makes me (very) sad, :''''.

Well, I hope you'll change your mind one day... I mean, before you retire....

Serbia needs us, hebi ga.


Serbia needs us, hebi ga.

it doesn't :(.


it does! :-))


verujem mom Vojo Mojou! Hey, hail new king in town! Ave, VM!


being universal soul.searbia is nice.serbijan people are nice.
welcome back home.

Congratulations Andrew for a good career step!

Perhaps unknowingly, in the raptures of your love affair with a woman who comes from an ancient tradition of the Amazons (as all Serb women do), you created an excellent career opportunity for yourself. With uncontested odds that Serbia will remain as the main nation-building experiment and darling of your compatriots, you have an excellent chance of building a career in several fields. Firstly, journalism or any kind of reporting (for a selected circle perhaps) has best prospects for obvious reasons: insider knowledge, family connection, and Serbian grapevine. If you like poetry, Serbian suffering under Greeks, Romans, Ottomans, Germans/Croats/Albanians/WWII, English and the USA, has a lot to offer, just keep your mind attuned. If you are very clever you may even get to produce TV shows on Serbian TV (Serbs have a habit of hating their own geniouses and hiring others to create their cultural shows.) If everything else fails, don't warry, there is no limit to cigarette smuggling back into the UK.

Just a few English who have been outed in the recent past as Serbwomen lovers. (Not to be confused with an MI5 outing list.) Members of NGOs not included for security reasons.
Timothy Byford left wing TV director/retired (I hope)
Toma Walker journalist in the 1990s (Divorced)
Richard Burns poet (Divorced)
Misha Glenny journalist/historian (Divorced)
Lord Aitkins jailed ex-Tory politician, bankrupt and born-again Christian (Divorced)
John Livingston Barrister at the Hague
Roger Jenkins, super-earner head of structured capital markets at Barclays
and last, but not the least:)
Bernie Eccleston Formula 1 tycoon

Take a hint: money helps secure a good marriage.

How do you

know all these gossips who is divorced and who isn't? I mean, M. Glenny on the market again, wow, should I move to Brighton or what? :))

sister dada!

welcome to Brighton!


you know what, I don't fell like leaving Switzerland, the quality of living here and there, mmmm, quite uncomparable... But T. Walker was married to the colleague of mine, a nice lady, pitty they called it quits.

Bernie Ecclestone

is still married to Slavica from Rijeka, Croatia. Neither outed nor from a "Serbwoman". Inspite of the facts.

you are right

what about Dijana (Mrs. Roger Jenkins)? She seems to be the new Slavica of London. Somewhere from Basnia-Herzegovina.

Melanija Trump

Je l´ se i ona broji, Slovenka? Marijana Matheus, Novosadjanka, svakako.

melanija trump

ta uvek izgleda pissed off. a i malo je ruzna.


je bila kada se slikala sa detetom, a ono ni manje ni vise nego u zlatnim kolicima...crkla sam od smeha. Zena je carica (kitsch-a)! A mora da bude nabudzena za Donalda, inace ce odma' da nadje novu manekenku na Victoria's Secret reviji.

zlatna kolica

ispred zlatnih vrata!

Kaze narod...

Nasla sljuka prdavca ;-)

Ladies, let's not get too carried away

Mr Baumont is not amused. He left us for a smoke. (See his new entry about tobacco - the capital agricultural crop - he calls weed.)
It is his blog anyway and here we are chatting about
rich men's wives.
But getting back to Melanija, she is not an Amazonka anyway, but a Veneta.


and thank you.

We need to hear some stories like yours. It is so simple, so human. At first glance, to most of us it seems crazy, but I feel that your story is based on experience, and the fact that you really know what you want. I say GO FOR IT !

And please continue writing here on blog, even some kind of diary. We need to see things from some other angle - as yours.


On completely different subject...

You mentioned that Serbian is one of the five most complex languages in Linguaphone’s list.
It could be quite right.
But it left me wondering what other languages are occupying the first five places? And what place has English taken?
Could you pass a link or refer us to some site where it's possible to find more information?


P.S. Welcome to the blog...