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nekad-bio-kuki RSS / 24.12.2008. u 02:56

Santa Claus

North Pole, H0H 0H0, Canada

 

Global Gift Giver

 

 

Respected, deadline-driven professional with a global perspective, renowned for  infinite generosity. Project and solutions-oriented, patient and tolerant listener, gains the trust and respect of countless stakeholders located across 24 time zones. Child-friendly and considerate, exudes energy and confidence, extends a warm welcome to persons of all faiths and nationalities. Multi-tasker, excellent time management skills, strives for operational excellence in a fast-paced environment. Brand conscious, constantly sees red and white, devises and executes creative marketing strategies to deliver dreams. Core strengths include:

 

·         Distribution & Supply Chain Management

·         Production Management

·         Operations

·         Flight Manoeuvres

·         Reindeer Fleet Care & Control

·         Customer Service

·         Santa Curriculum Development

·         Conflict Resolution

·         Personal Branding

·         Project Management

 

Professional Experience

 

 

Santaland, North Pole, Canada                                                                                           0000 – Present

Santa

January:

·         Encourage team of elves and reindeer to obtain rest and relaxation to recuperate from busy season.

·         Patiently and methodically work through a high volume of complaints from a diverse clientele, to amicably resolve their concerns.

 

February:

·         Facilitate production scheduling meeting, interact with cross-functional personnel located at geographically disparate locations across the world to conceive and design new toys and gift ideas.

·         Analyze and tabulate budgets, allocate costs to each Production Manager.

 

March:

·         Attend numerous interactive presentations provided by Production Managers on implementing new designs and make recommendations for changes according to the forecasted buying trends.

·         Interact with the Purchasing Manager to ensure production inventory is ordered and contracts signed with vendors across the world.

·         Conduct detailed inspection of the assembly lines with maintenance and cleaning staff, assuring equipment ready for production.

 

April:

·         Oversee the start-up of production, implement initiatives to optimize time efficiency in preparation for shift increases forecasted for late summer.

·         Instrumental in maintaining staff focus and morale, introduce incentive programs, regular breaks and pizza nights.

·         Manage the elves responsible for exercising the reindeer and sleigh maintenance flight manoeuvres.

·         Perform sleigh safety assessments, test for perfect weight and balance distribution.

 

May:

·         Perform inventory control in partnership with the Purchasing and Warehouse Managers.

·         Source, interview and recruit additional elves, customer service representatives and production staff in preparation for full continental shift production.

 

June:

·         Launch the 24 hour Customer Service Centre tasked with taking orders from parents based on their naughty and nice lists for children across the world.

·         Boost production schedule, add staff to lines as orders arrive from the Customer Service Centre.

·         Work with equipment engineers to troubleshoot production machinery for optimal performance.

 

July:

·         Introduce incentive-based programs and additional pizza nights to encourage all staff to perform and deliver.

·         Scrutinize underperforming staff in a non-unionized environment and take appropriate disciplinary action or terminate contract.

·         Chair weekly department head meetings to keep abreast of production commitments and dispatch technicians to respond to operational, logistical and manufacturing problems.

 

August:

·         Take a short hiatus with Mrs. Claus for rest and relaxation, provide each department a one-week rotational respite to reenergize.

·         Assign duties to Equipment Engineers and maintenance staff to prepare the equipment for full 24 hour, 7 day production schedule.

 

September:

·         Direct the International Team of Delivery Specialists to compile the naughty and nice list deliveries utilizing MS Excel to calculate the best routes for 1 billion home visits from New Zealand to Alaska in  a 24 hour period.

·         Purchase and consume large quantities of starchy food, muffins, cookies and hot chocolate to achieve the personal ‘plump’ brand.

 

October:

·         Supervise the team of elves charged with packing a high-volume of multi-sized parcels and store according to delivery schedule.

·         Hire a vocal coach to enhance the “ho-ho-ho” belly laugh and visit Santa tailor for bespoke suit and boots.

 

November:

·         Attend shopping malls across the world to open Santa Lands, Santa Castles and Santa Villages, interact with multi-cultural children to share stories and discover their gift wishes and bring laughter and joy to the young and old alike.

 

December:

·         Direct the pre-flight planning, perform final examination of  sleigh and reindeer, file flight plans with aviation regulatory authorities across the world for air travel clearance.

·         Monitor the Delivery Specialists responsible for loading millions of packages onto the sleigh for delivery flight.

·         Feed, tackle and prepare reindeer and elves for long work day.

·         Launch fully loaded sleigh pulled by 9 reindeer led by ‘Rudolph’ onto a 24 hour global journey delivering packages to an excited clientele and receive cookies and milk in exchange.

·         Arrive back at the North Pole, unshackle reindeer and REST!  HO-HO-HO!

 



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