2015-02-26 10:36:56
Društvo| Kultura| Životni stil

The Call

Chris Farmer RSS / 26.02.2015. u 11:36

In the old days, we used to happy when the phone would ring.

In the old days, the phone was a fixed object in some corner of the house, usually next to a comfortable chair, so you could sit and chat with whoever was on the other side of the receiver. When the phone would ring, we usually knew who it might be - a friend, your Aunt Wendy, your sister in Chicago.

Or Bob.

But that was then. Today Bob never calls. You read his Facebook updates. You might occasionally exchange "likes," possibly the odd instant message chat. And in the end, you know pretty much what Bob has been doing and what he likes and what is happening around him. The same for your sister and Aunt Wendy. The virtual nature of our communications today means that we have the impression of talking to people all the time. We open some social media site with our morning coffee or tea and instantly know what our thousands of friends are doing. Especially the friends we never met.

 
 
2015-02-05 09:33:35
Društvo| Moj grad| Satira

Strong Arming

Chris Farmer RSS / 05.02.2015. u 10:33

What possible crime could be more heinous and threatening to public safety than a woman who forgot to swipe her bus pass?

It is a scourge on our society. We must root it out and brutalize offenders in a very public way so as to discourage future criminal acts.

I plan to write a letter to the City of Belgrade protesting the arrest of this woman. If the point of her arrest was to demonstrate the power of the police and the weak position of our citizenry, then jail is NOT the answer.

 

Once you achieve a certain social status in Belgrade, you must view the parking reserved for the handicapped as metaphorical.

Despite what appears to be a space which is reserved for a person with some kind of physical disability, in reality it is merely a metaphor for the various societal woes which beset the citizenry and therefore is open to wide and (sometimes) poetic interpretation.

 
2015-01-22 09:45:28
Društvo| Ekonomija| Satira

Sign Here

Chris Farmer RSS / 22.01.2015. u 10:45

In the shuffle, I probably signed a paper that allows the bank to change the date of my birthday if they want. I also signed to forfeit any presents I might get.

Today (and yesterday, and tomorrow since it is not quite finished) I opened a new bank account. In order to do so, I affixed my scrawling and somewhat easy-to-copy signature to at least fifty documents - none of which I read.

 
2015-01-15 09:07:05
Društvo| Satira

Coffee and Art of Hidden Luxury

Chris Farmer RSS / 15.01.2015. u 10:07

As usual, it all started at the airport.

Many of you who have experienced the Great Airports of the World - Heathrow, JFK, Dubai, and Belgrade's own Nikola Tesla - will know already what I am talking about. This is a subject, in fact, which is so well known to frequent fliers as to be superfluous to set to pixels. It is a level of luxury which we have come to expect, but it is not for the uninitiated...

 
2015-01-08 10:02:45
Društvo| Kultura| Lingvistika

Unlanguaged

Chris Farmer RSS / 08.01.2015. u 11:02
The flowery language of the future is the simple language of today.

Years from now, people may look back upon our era and wonder if people really talked like that. I mean seriously: we use long sentences. We may bracket several thoughts between a capital letter and a period. We spell all the words out – completely!
 
‘Twas the Night Before New Year's
And all through Belgrade
Everyone was still shopping
Without a single plan made
 
We rush to the markets
We rush to the malls
We are crushed in our numbers
Into spaces quite small
 
As far as I can tell, my humans have completely lost their minds. 

[NOTE: This message was found written in shaky handwriting on a piece of wrapping paper behind the sofa. It has been determined that it constitutes part of a longer report by Agent 836 (code named “Lav”, the cat) on human behavior, presumably to be submitted to an unknown supervisory cat. We have reproduced the text here as faithfully as possible, although some translation errors can certainly be found. Cat is an inflected language wherein the word “meow” is often repeated.]
 
2014-12-10 09:52:07
Društvo| Ekonomija

The Christmas Offensive

Chris Farmer RSS / 10.12.2014. u 10:52

Last July I forgot something.

Nearly exactly a year ago, at the tipping point between early- and mid-December, I forgot to go Christmas shopping. There must have been something good on TV.

Every year, faced with the prospect of engaging in pitched battle with my fellow shoppers throughout the month of December, I seem to make the resolution to do all the shopping in July, thus freeing myself from active duty and sparing myself more bloodshed.