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On the Waterfront

Chris Farmer RSS / 30.04.2015. u 12:28

Filming has started on Belgrade's last and greatest foray into the "willing suspension of disbelief," the epic saga under the working title of The Belgrade Waterfront. The avant-premier is scheduled for May 1, 2045, giving the publicists barely 30 years to get ready for the grand event. Half of the budget will be allocated in 2035.

None of the principle actors have arrived yet on the set, nor has the director - citing some unease about getting paid for half of it in 20 years - but the producers (Sheik Ali Xander & Associates) have so far put on a spectacle worthy of Metro Goldwyn Mayer.

With great pomp and circumstance, Sheik Ali has announced that a "project" has been signed for "billions" of euros. We do not need to know what was signed. We just need to believe.

The premise of the project is a brilliant piece of meta-fictional leger-de-main in which the Belgrade cityscape will be transformed into a Gulf oasis of glass and steel, an entire historic quarter of Belgrade will be demolished, untold billions will be invested in an undisclosed way, and the architects of the grand design will be either dead or doddering by the time the curtain rises. Local citizens rise up against it in 2015, showing outrage and indignant anger and effigies of ducks, but their cries slowly die out over the 360 months of project preparation.

In the meantime, Sheik Ali will reign for several years and retire to Abu Dhabi, pockets lined in an undisclosed manner.

The whole project is a real-time depiction of collective insanity. The producer announces a project with only enough details to make everyone angry. The people actually accept this project as the truth - i.e., that it will really happen - and wax eloquent in their anger about it. A lot of money greases its way over wires and numbered accounts, and the angry mobs will have forgotten about the whole thing by the time the first building crane rises over Sava Mala.


Read the full blog on The Standard Deviation 


Komentari (8)

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angie01 angie01 13:12 30.04.2015


rade.radumilo rade.radumilo 13:22 30.04.2015


oskar-z-wild oskar-z-wild 13:59 30.04.2015

Amazon boss Jeff Bezos just launched a sec

a secret rocket to space

In a move that will garner begrudging respect from Bond villains around the world, Amazon founder Jeff Bezos secretly launched an uncrewed rocket to space yesterday from his private launch facility in the Texas desert.
Chris Farmer Chris Farmer 14:08 30.04.2015

Re: Amazon boss Jeff Bezos just launched a sec

*shipping delays expected.
Jukie Jukie 15:17 30.04.2015

What angry mobs

As the population of Serbs keeps shrinking, and the global warming projections keep raising the number of tropical days, in 30 years the surroundings of Belgrade will likely look exactly like the desert the sheik is so familiar with.
Chris Farmer Chris Farmer 16:45 30.04.2015

Re: What angry mobs

NOTE TO SELF: Contact several camel merchants.
jkt2010 jkt2010 00:50 02.05.2015

Re: What angry mobs

Chris Farmer
NOTE TO SELF: Contact several camel merchants.

NOTE TO CHRIS: Where there are camel toes, there are camels. A trip to your nearest gym is the way to go.
mitar.popovic mitar.popovic 05:53 01.05.2015

Business Plan

I'd be very interested to see any sort of published business plan or financial projections for this project.

It is not credible that such a large real estate project can possibly pay off. I heard that condos are supposed to be selling for 400K euros!

Serbian government can't surprise anyone anymore, but I'm curious what could possibly be in it for the Emiratis. Sure they've been known to blow money away on unprofitable construction, but they always do it in their own lands and the purpose is always clear: pissing contest. Other than that I'd imagine they'd be cautious with their money.

Are they trying to gain some sort of leverage for fertile land in Vojvodina? Are they planning to colonize us culturally, via leveraging the muslim minority? Are THEY going to buy the condos?? WT...



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