The End (Again)

The world's legion paranoid masses announced the end of the world for May 21. I am not sure anymore why the world had to come to an end seven months ago, but it seems this month we will get another shot at putting our cosmic lives in order and getting ready for the New End of the World on December 21.

When the world ended seven months ago, none of us really noticed any changes. The next morning the sun seemed to shine, the birds seemed to sing. But since we had not yet reached the end of the 13th b'ak'tun of the Mayan calendar (which, as EVERYONE knows, is a really big deal), then the New and Real End of the World couldn't happen quite yet.

According to the sales, marketing, and advertising people with whom I have been conferring about 2012 phenomena in general, the December 21st deadline is likely to be postponed in order to stop consumers from boycotting their Christmas shopping.

Sales of the new 14th b'ak'tun calendar are available at www.the-world-is-not-really-going-to-end-just-yet.com. It looks a little like an Oreo cookie.

As it turns out, I already said my goodbyes to Planet Earth seven months ago. Since I am loath to repeat myself, I refer you to the previous Last Day of our mortal existence, in case you missed it in your bunkers and shelters.

As of this moment, we still have 20 days and a few hours before the Mayan calendar self-destructs and the world vanishes. But the clock is ticking. Before we all exit stage left, there are still a few things I would like to do, people I would like to see, and senseless memes I would like to share on Facebook. Knowing myself, I will waste at least three of my remaining days in composing a list of these things, another two prioritizing, and then the mad rush to get it all in before the appointed day.

I am keeping my calendar clear for the days following the end of the world. I think I will also engage a lawyer to work on the reckoning of my life on earth, just in case. The Post-Apocalyptic hourly rates will certainly go up prohibitively.

So this is goodbye - again. I am supposing that my current broadband account will no longer be valid in Oblivion, so my blog posts will almost certainly be less frequent.

That is, of course, unless the Mayans got it wrong.